Bastion's Metroclimate

This was touched on in a previous age, but it's worth stressing that conditions in Bastion are never quite fine. There's always something to complain about, and weather is a favourite. It's always changing, and people are always surprised by this fact.

These periods of change are rarely clean. Sometimes you get the worst of both worlds, or some new unexpected side effect arising from their mingling. This is Bastion, you can't just say "it's raining". Everything is complicated.

Roll 2d20 to see what things are changing from/to. 

1. Baking: The kind of heat that just stops things happening. Nobody wants to work, and those that must are driven to sweaty exhaustion. If it's bad then some adhesives start to melt, causing actual structural damage. If it's really bad then gum will start to melt, ruining pockets and souring moods across the city.
2. Damp: Water just sort of hangs in the air, hardly able to be called rain. Somehow everything is wet all the time, and all the slugs, worms, and amphibians treat this an an open invitation to your home. 
3. Foggy: Light up the lamps all you like, it almost makes it worse. You can't see further than your hand, and you've got rely on klaxons and bells to get around. Everybody takes this as a personal invitation to send out their own signals, causing a cacophony that leaves us just as blind as we were in the first place. If you can get high enough then you might get some respite, but most just lock themselves in and wait for it to blow over. 
4. Smoggy: Everything that's bad about fog, but you've got somebody to blame and the risk of significantly shortening your lifespan if you go outside. This causes mass gatherings in bars, community halls, and even clandestine Underground locations. Modern weather brings out modern solutions: mobile breathing tanks, macro-filtration systems, toxin electrolysers. All services provided at a fair cost, of course. There's a sense of injustice hanging in the fumes. Anybody that owns any sort of industrial enterprise will be tightening up their security or preparing a public statement. 
5. Misty: Fog leaves you stumbling blindly, but mist merely conceals the truth, twisting through the streets in waves. You know where you should be, but you're somewhere else. Perfect for getting lost or getting murdered. Dogs and other canines start to go a bit wild. 
6. Pollinic: Remember, the city is alive. Not literally (well, depends who you ask), but it's overrun with flora and fauna, and the former have a habit of conspiring against those of us with allergic conditions. When this is on a Bastionian Scale, nobody is safe, and Mass Pollination Events cause rushes on pharmacists and temples alike. Worse than the physical symptoms is the general irritability of everybody. At these levels, violent crime increases proportionately with the pollen count. 
7. Blustery: Sure, it's a bit windy, and then WOOSH. A chimney here, a tree there, umbrellas comically blown inside-out. Nothing disastrous to begin with, but the real problem comes later on. Who has actual legal ownership of this chimney that just crushed a locomotive? Now, how would the compensation be split by the cooperative that was restoring said vehicle? This weather draws out the solicitors, and you'd be surprised how much paperwork gets blown away in all the chaos. 
8. Stormy: Rain, thunder, lightning, the works. At first it's all quite dramatic, maybe even fun! Then rolling thunder that shatters windows, ball-lightning setting up home in a communal garden, hailstones piling up on the ground. The floods come later, as rivers burst their banks. Filthy water leaving a miserable stain across boroughs. Periods of eerie calm hang between these outbursts, giving victims just long enough to get themselves half-dry before the onslaught continues. 
9. Muggy: Humidity and insects, two foes that modernity believes it can fight. We have electric fans, of course, and chemical pesticides, but it's a genuine war. In a weird way, it brings people together. Huddle into your neighbours refrigerated bug-shelter, share stories of the most disgusting insect bite that you've ever suffered, and sip on anything with crushed ice and ginger. Haven't got that generous neighbour? Well, this is where things might get nasty. 
10. Brooding: The sky looms, strangely featureless. Blue? Pink? Orange? It's trying to tell us something... Yeah, it's alright now, but I can feel something in the air. Can't you? Yeah, I can definitely feel it. Something about the pressure rising or falling. We're in for something big. 
11. Drenching: None of the drama of a storm, just ongoing rain. Gets some down, others say it's good for the gutters to get a good wash out. Out of all the weathers here, when this one comes on you'd better settle in and get used to it. Get out your waxed coat and brace yourself. 
12. Grey: Almost a vacuum of weather. How do you even describe this? Not rainy, not sunny, not warm, not cold, not especially windy. What's notable here is the effect it has on people. Without any weather to complain about, it's inevitable that some huge social fills the void. The spark of a revolution might happen in a heatwave or harsh winter, but this sort of weather gives time to dry the wood, prep the kindling, and start a genuine inferno. 
13. Close: A sort of heat where the air feels dense. Not so much with humidity, but just dense with itself. Movement feels sluggish, and you always feel like somebody has their hand on the back of your neck. People are driven to seek solitude.
14. Dark: Seasonality is strange in Bastion. Sure there's summer and winter, but sometimes you just get a period that feels like the days are especially short or long. You could have sworn that it didn't used to get gloomy right after lunch time, but before you know it the city feels like it's in a perpetual twilight. Gloomy for some, but the nightlife extends to fill the darkness. Get the neon lights on, fire up the music, and let's put on a show. 
15. Bright: It certainly looks like summer, even if there's a chill in the air. Sunset feels like forever away, so people get outside and make the most of it. Indoor spaces are deserted, and sometimes it feels like a contest to see who can be the most outdoorsy. New clubs emerge as if from nowhere. The Free-Steeplejack Society, the Fruit Drier's Guild, and most meals evolve some sort of social/competitive element. 
16. Dry: The ground hardens, gutters clog, and the city almost feels like it stops moving. Canals are facing low waters, railway lines crack, and all the most popular vegetables are out of stock. We'll do anything for rain. Churches and weather-stations are packed, looking for answers. Just give us a drop. 
17. Freezing: The battle against ice begins, not long after the first few broken ankles. The streets are loaded with salted grit, furnaces pump out heat, and things just about stay moving. It's a struggle, though, and people do their best to keep spirits up with hot drinks and spiced food. You don't want to see what happens if enough boilers break, though. 
18. Snowy: Sometimes winter throws you a gift. A picturesque dusting of snow, covering all the muck and grime of the city at least for a while. Spirits are high, schools close, and people decide to be lovely to each other. It always starts like this, then as the streets turn to slush, people remember why they hate the snow. Things turn really quickly here. 
19. Moony: Sometimes the moon just gets real big and refuses to go away during the day, sitting proudly alongside the sun. This is used as an excuse for any number of things from strangely aggressive bird behaviour to a dissolution of various legal contracts that slipped in a lunar clause. It might not look like more than a cosmic curiosity, but it's a warning to keep your wits about you. 
20. Chilly: Can wind freeze? It feels like it here. Bitter, raking gusts that find every gap in your coats, scarves, and gloves. Well now it's become like a challenge. A few stay home by the fire, but most face it head on, brazenly proclaiming about how they're "getting on with things" despite the weather, and how they're "built for this sort of climate". Productivity and smugness rise in equal measure. 

Examples

3-14: Foggy to Dark

Most fogs lift into nothingness, but a particularly heavy cluster might just hang in the sky indefinitely, placing the city in a temporarily-permanent night state. For some, it's an excuse for debauchery, for others its the herald of the end times. Either way, the bars are open. 

6-5: Pollenic to Misty

A yellow haze weaves through the city, choking those exposed to its spores. Whatever plant is causing this, there's strong public call for extermination. 

d6 Bastionane Beverage Establishments

While there are bits of Bastion that are what you'd imagine as industrial, residential, commercial, or civic districts, it's important to remember Bastion's Triple Rule.

And as everything has multiple purposes, one of them is most likely to feel out of place. Even in the quietest bits of the city there's something going on if you stop and take a look around.

A common theme is finding that a seemingly unrelated establishment is also operating as a bar.

When the players stop and look around to find a bar, roll d6 for a Bastionane Beverage Establishment

1: Soggy Little Sparks

• Crumbly sandstone building patched up with colourfully painted wooden boards.
• Destitute children use shoddy tools to fix electrical equipment in between shaking sweet cocktails over ice.
• They work for a pittance, have alarming street-smarts, but occasionally splash water onto the electronics with disastrous results.

2: No-Frock-Alley Theatre

• Radical art collective that allow anybody to join in their improvised theatre as long as they strip and burn their clothes right there and then.
• Cast members are entitled to use any of the props piled up this alley for their act.
• This includes a well-stocked bar, so most people are just using it as a booze-buffet.

3: New Textual Cafe

• An exclusive new service where visitors can sit at a television and view electronic text, calling in to the Bastion Broadcast Office to add their own messages, all while sipping overpriced coffee.
• It's mostly crude poetry, dirty jokes, and bad fantasy literature.
• There's a hidden code that lets you order discretely-served but devastatingly-potent drinks from the cafe staff. 

4: Leviathan Milk Thumper

• A huge pumping station connects to pipes deep in the underground, connected to a Deep Leviathan to extract its milk.
• The milk is three ways:
• Raw (£2, ultra-nourishing, but pretty foul)
• Thumped (£4, sent back through the pipes, where ferments into a sour, cloudy beverage)
• Double-Thumped (£12, sent back into the "long pipes" where it returns as a clear spirit, which grants visions of the Underground to those that drink it and doubles as a powerful catalyst for many chemical processes)
• There are rumours of the mystical effects of "Triple Thumped" leviathan milk, but the staff assure you that they do not serve this version.

5: Ghost Bombers Spritz Bar

• When it comes to ghosts in Bastion, it isn't that there's no proof, it's more that nobody agrees on what constitutes proof of ghosts when there are so many weird holographic machines, immaterial aliens, and even Mock Ghosts creating confusion.
• This office serves clients that want to get rid of whatever ghost-like being is intruding on their property. They get the client to sign an extensive waiver and then deploy "Ghost Bombs" (actually just bombs) on the property. When only rubble remains the being has usually left as well.
• Their Customer Complaints department also serves as a bar serving ghost-themed spritzes, and is popular enough that drinkers will often just fabricate a complaint so that they can go and drink there.

6: The Geologitastic Roadshow

• A sprawling road-train that operates as a mobile museum, nay, carnival of geology.
• Visitors are admitted to the front of the train and must enjoy each exhibit-carriage in full before moving to the next. After around two hours they will reach the Caboose Bar, which has an extensive range of beers from across the city, all served in Stone Steins which the bartender will go to great lengths to educate you on.
• You can stay in the bar as long as you like, but the roadshow is always moving on, so when you leave you'll be in a completely different Borough. 

d100 Horses with Arnold K

It's no secret that +Arnold K. and I have been collaborating on a d100 horses table for many years now. 

There were murmurings that the project would never reach completion, or even that it was entirely a publicity stunt.



To those detractors I invite them to have their players mosey over to the town stables, and roll 3d100 to see what horses are available.



(This is the Into the Odd version, without any of the extraneous bullshit that Arnold's version contains)

d100 Horses

1. Potentia: Mighty mahogany steed with skin like a sweaty lover. Any female horse he catches in his gaze must pass a Save or become pregnant. Riding him always causes slight arousal. 
2. Master H: A red fighting horse with strong forelegs trained for punching. Only responds to requests, not orders, and insists on being called “master”. Anyone that tries to boss him around gets punched back into line. 
3. Horatia “Dropkick” Horatian: A chestnut horse in a wrestling mask. Pretty well trained and moderately agile, but if you remove the mask he dies from shame. 
4. Mockmare: Bits of horse strapped together and animated. Needs a Save after vigorous activity to avoid losing a bodypart. You can reattach any horse part you like though. 
5. Fleschee: Big fat pale horse. Has a weird gelatinous flesh. Needs twice as much food as normal or refuses to act. Completely immune to physical harm though. Super dumb. 
6. Sweetpearl II: Spoilt pageant pony. Fears being alone, and great at making you feel guilty. 
7. Quacker: Pretty fast horse wearing a wooden duck-head over his own. Doesn’t actually know how to quack. If you remove the duck-head he only goes slow and sobs quietly. 
8. Horsebox 1: Black wheeled metal box containing the remains of a horse, and “Horsebox 1” written in white paint with a skull and crossbones. Moves of its own will but always follows its owner at around the speed of a normal horse. Can also be ridden at this pace if you give very literal directions. Comes with the myth that a flaming ghost horse will arise in a time of need (it doesn’t). Always useful to have a dead horse on hand though. 
9. Big Oz: The stupidest horse in history. Has a massive horse head, one eye missing, and no teeth. Smells so bad. Nobody would charge for this horse, they’ll just throw him in for free with any other. 
10. Sweeper: Sleek horse trained to sniff out explosives. 
11. Emerald Dream: Green-hued black horse with finely plaited mane. So beautiful that other horses hate him and won’t cooperate. If they fail a Save they’ll even be hostile. 
12. White Velvet: This horse is so soft a ride that when you go back to another horse you suffer d6 damage each mile you ride for the first day. After that you get used to it. 
13. Scratch: Horse with spade-hooves, used to dig up roots in its native land. Can be made to dig but is pretty slow to make up for it. 
14. Chap-Mozul: Snooty thoroughbred that absolutely refuses to get dirty. Really fast and great jumper though. 
15. Butterfly: A shabby grey horse partially dyed pink and with gaudy butterfly wings pinned to its back. Looks and acts ashamed, but resists any attempts to remove the decoration. 
16. Worldsteed: Twice the size of an ordinary horse, mounted with a howdah. Really slow and actually pretty weak from bad bones. Looks tired. 
17. Murmur Junior: A pony that makes whimpering noises. If you listen closely (takes at least a minute of coaxing) he actually gives quite good advice in common tongue. 
18. Rok Savage: A golden steed with a flowing mane but sort of a goofy face. Adorned with fake barbarian furs and subject to many lies about his berserker rages. Is really quite placid. 
19. Wruffal: A muscular brown steed that goes out of its way to antagonise any larger animals it encounters. Hates his brother Awaruff and they duel to first blood each time they meet. 
20. Awaruff: A muscular brown steed that goes out of its way to stamp on any smaller animals it encounters. Hates his brother Wruffal and they will duel to first blood each time they meet, but Awaruff fights dirty. 
21. Bjors: A horse with distant bear ancestry. Can talk with bears as one of their own, and needs a little meat in his diet to stay happy. 
22. White Slipper: A, exquisite, tiny white horse that can only carry children or the very small. 
23. Eric of Horse: A peachy coloured horse that can carry out all of the functions of a well-trained squire from the olden days. He’ll sharpen weapons, help you in and out of armour, and neigh encouragement while you duel. 
24. Jeremus Faltine Gratziarse: A blue-grey racehorse that only eats fine food. Will try to eat any gems or coins nearby, but if he gets a good fill of them he runs at twice the normal speed for that day. 
25. Hurter: Total dick of a horse that loves to torture everyone else, but utterly loyal to his master. 
26. Hamham: Pig-nosed horse that regenerates as a troll. 
27. Anequin: Long faced lean-green horse. Hates all other horses, and anything that reminds him that he’s a horse. Loves the servitude of being owned, though. 
28. Ode to Forgotten Steeds: Dyed black horse, bred from stock fallen on some battlefield. Incredibly somber and depressing. Will point to anything likely to make you miserable with a solemn hoof. 
29. Icehorse: Rare breeding stock, raised in arctic conditions and high altitude to improve strength. Total badass of a white horse that will stand up to any punishment. Cries a little as it sleeps. 
30. Carltott: Big fat show-horse that knows a few disgusting dances and suggestive gestures. 
31. Ranton Spur: Mistreated horse that will never trust another master. Dull brown with lots of scars. 
32. Maximum Grace: Burglary-horse that can move silently and climb brick walls. 
33. Null Horse: You pay for a horse, but you don’t get a horse. There trader will say there’s a message there but it’s just a scam. 
34. Prancer Prime: Horse with some reindeer stock. Can fly if snow is falling. 
35. Karrier: Misshapen horse designed to carry heavy loads. Looks like four horses squeezed into one body, but can carry pretty much anything. 
36. Oxkicker: Dark grey raid-horse trained to kick in doors with alarming power. Nothing special other than that. 
37. Venus D: Only has hind legs and runs very fast, like an emu. You have to hold on tight not to fall off, but it’s quite the sight. 
38. Loosie Lucy Lasso: A dumb brown horse with a silly cowboy hat stuck in. 
39. Yellerhed: This horse won’t shut up crying and yelling, but it’s cheap. 
40. Terrible Dennis: Really moody looking grey horse. Has clearly seen lots of action, but pretty slow in his elder years. 
41. Okler: Horse with one giant eye in the middle of his horse head. Can see for miles and will rear up at anything dangerous on the horizon. 
42. Maynesteid: This tall muscular horse has had most of its skeleton replaced with metal parts, and comes with a pair of horseman-axes (d8) made from his bones. Seems really into battle and glory. 
43. Fat One: Actually in really good shape, reddish-brown, but humble to the point of embarrassment. Will throw himself down in the mud so that you don’t have to dirty your boots. 
44. Wickywalter: Light brown, branded with the seal of justice as a former bounty-hunter’s horse, and neighs loudly if his owner tells a lie in his presence. 
45. Redsaddle: A maroon horse formerly owned by a sea-raider. Swims really well and can hold its breath for an unnatural length of time. 
46. Hrissen: Conjoined pair of horses, connected along the flank. Two riders can ride uncomfortably close to each other. 
47. Ultratrotz: A shaky black horse that’s had metal plating (Armour 1) painfully bonded all over its body and a unicorn horn (d8) attached to its head. Has no taste for battle. 
48. Effelletur: A dairy-horse that needs milking every day to avoid discomfort. Will encourage her owner to feed at her udder, which creates a telepathic bond for the rest of the day. 
49. Chulepa Peek: This self-abasing horse is covered in mud and feces. It will not eat unless you kick it (believing itself to be unworth feeding) and will sleep in the rain instead of a warm stable (believing itself unworthy of such a luxury). 
50. Golden God Farmer: This golden-haired horse is cursed. It cannot stop running. It will always move as fast as the fastest horse, unless it is racing away/towards another fast-moving object. In that case, it will be slightly faster. If it stops running, it dies.
51. No-Bath: This roan mare is also cursed. Whenever it meets a new person it looks at them and says, “You must help me! I’ve been transformed into a horse by an evil wizard, and cursed to only be able to speak once, after which I will forget my human past. You must kill my owner to free me! You are my only hope!” (All of this is a lie, of course.)
52. Scabby Joe: Infested with lice. Possibly their deity. Their itchy, itchy deity.
53. Zooltharno the Gelid: This horse is ice-cold. It moves slowly, but can levitate up or down at the rate of 1 foot per second. When levitating, it cannot move horizontally unless it is pushed/pulled.
54. Ifrit: This is a gaseous horse. It lives in a bottle. When the bottle is open, it becomes a flying, purple steed. If it ever takes any damage, or gets wet, it dies.
55. Shaggadoom the Questant: After an expedition to uncharted dimensions, this bug-eyed horse was the only survivor. It is paralyzed, and its face is perpetually frozen in an expression of raw horror. Anyone who falls asleep near the horse will wake up beside the horse, transported safely across as much territory a healthy horse could cover in the amount of time that they’d been asleep.
56. Griplatch the Klorohund: This greenish equoid is meant to be edible. Each day, a reddish, pulpy fruit buds off from its face, providing an extra ration. It doesn’t eat, but instead gains its nourishment by chewing your food (in its dead-end mouth), sucking all the flavour out, and then depositing the pulp back in your hands. Very friendly.
57. Thorsor Greybreed: This horse is not a horse, but a demon wearing a horse’s skin. Exceptionally fast and vicious. Each day there is a 1-in-20 chance that the demon will be recalled to hell, leaving an empty horse skin behind. It will return the next day and behave as if nothing strange has happened.
58. Tillamook Flenge: This is a reverse vampire horse. It suffers from an overabundance of blood, and must be bled daily. If it is not, it will begin to get desperate, like a cow that hasn’t been milked, and will extrude it’s glossal syringe in order to inject it’s heavily parasitized blood into the nearest mammal.
59. Hammerfaust the Invincible: This small, grey horse doesn’t look very special. However, it is completely immune to damage, except for damage from stupid weapons. Stupid weapons (nunchucks, a polehammer, a glaive-guisarme, a throwing chakram, etc) the attack becomes a critical hit.
60. The Horse of a Different Color: This is a fairy horse. Every day, this horse changes into a different horse, always mundane except for this strange fact. If you leave saddlebags on overnight, they will disappear. 5% chance that it appears with someone’s saddlebags in the morning, with something interesting inside. (It is possible for other things to travel with the horse. Once it was found with a corpse on its back, tied to the saddle.)
61. Double John: This horse is a horse at both ends. Capable of running backwards as fast as forwards. The two horse heads are known as “Eaty John” and “Shitty John”. 
62. The Invisible Horse: Is truly invisible, but flatulence ruins any invisibility attempts 33% of the time.
63. Miriam Waggish: This mare is a were-human. Every full moon she spends three days as a human. She formerly worked as a launderer in town.
64. Stinger: Has a wooden leg with a wasp nest built into it. The wasps automatically attack anyone who attacks Stinger, but will generally leave anyone else alone. 
65. The Metaphorical Horse: This is a book, not a horse. It is about a metaphorical horse named Life that carries us through good times and bad times, with a clumsy, powerful gait. Anyone who reads it aloud is able to run at the speed of a horse, but only over territory that a horse could normally run over. They lose 1d6 Wisdom after this exertion.
66. Fiercer: This is a coal-black horse with a spiked iron collar. Attacks as a sixth-level fighter. Displays murderous impulses towards gnomes and things about the size of gnomes. Is wanted for genocide, as it has exterminated two gnomish villages (over 150 gnomes have met their doom at the end of his shiny, shiny hooves.) Is being hunted by Masdrana, the unicorn bounty-hunter, who intends to hang him.
67. Trismegistus: Shaved and tattooed with arcane symbols. Each of his flanks contains one spell. His back contains a fully functioning demonic summoning circle, which is capable of containing a demon, but will not prevent it from riding Trismegistus. This horse has a terrible phobia of candles.
68. Lovely Lucy: An attractive roan mare. She is the wife of Brogtharion, a barbarian from a tribe with a long history of very literal horse husbandry. Brogtharion will come along (he is part of whatever deal gave you Lovely Lucy), but will not ride her nor speak to her, as they are currently having a marital dispute.
69. Gobby Nobbler: Lumpy looking horse with a dull hide. Knees actually bend the wrong way. Close inspection will reveal that it is actually some sort of giant insect wearing a horse’s skin. Very affectionate and loyal. Terrified of actual horses.
70. The Smaragdine Mare: This horse is green, and perpetually pregnant. If fed something, will excrete a variation of it. Milk turns into wine. Apples turn into pears. Potions turn into a different kind of potion. Gems turn into other types of gems (but these require some coaxing to eat). If she ever eats the flesh of another creature, she will birth a monstrous version of that creature and die in the process. The seller of this horse will usually add the instruction “Don’t feed her flesh.” but will not know the actual reason.
71. Mount Vlatingor: This is either a enormous man or a small giant. Either way, he is educated, well-spoken, and completely insane. He believes that he is a horse, and will become extremely angry if he is not treated like one. After progressing through argumentation and threats of abandonment, he will leave. Passengers are carried on his shoulders.
72. Motley Samson: Adorned in a jester’s motley. Aging, grey-haired, and sway-backed. Will perform a humorous little dance for as long as a tambourine is played (sold with the horse). Also trained to detect the most common edible poisons. 
73. Sir Tomborious: Barrel-chested Clydesdale with an enormous claymore strapped to his side.. Acts like a normal horse, albeit more loyal than most. If he witnesses a damsel in distress, he stands up, removes his hooves (they are just painted, steel caps) to reveal his hands, draws his claymore, and wades into battle. After the situation has been resolved, he sheathes his sword, puts his hoof caps back on, and returns to normal.
74. Svalbard: This horse turns into a small viking longboat (25 feet long) when wet. In this form, it has a painted horse figurehead. When it is dry, it turns back into a horse. A splash from a puddle is insufficient to provoke the transformation, but rain will do it.
75. Madera: Whenever startled or scared, becomes as rigid as a wooden statue and falls over, unless she was standing still. (Not actually wooden, just paralyzed, like those fainting goat videos.) Fails all saves vs. fear. Half-price.
76. Francifal Saint Montaigne: Makes owlbear noises. Does not fear high places since it thinks it can fly. It cannot.
77. Joreppo La Bomba: An audible ticking can be heard from the horse at all times. If this horse dies from an impactful death (non-poison, non-level drain) it explodes as a 5d6 fireball. It is being sold by Joreppo Morone, an extremely nervous man who screams when startled.
78. Hammerhead: A normal-seeming horse gifted with an abnormally hard head. Instead of stamping on enemies, it bludgeons them with its head.
79. Maggot: Exhales blue smoke. Vibrates. Moves jerkily. Doesn’t need to eat. Turns into a miniature black hole (as sphere of annihilation) upon death, a state that lasts for 1 minute.
80. Ekinna: Lays a chicken-sized egg each night. If the egg is not destroyed, it will hatch into a horse-headed monstrosity that will seek to devour the marrow from whoever Ekinna loves the most (usually her owner). If Ekinna doesn’t eat the slain monstrosity by each morning, she will sicken. If she misses two of these meals consecutively, she dies.
81. Solaris: Supposedly a horse from the sun-god’s own chariot. Golden orange coat, almost luminous. Runs at 3x horse speed, but only in a westerly or partially-westerly direction. Must be towed east if you want to go in that direction. Immune to fire damage.
82. Rabban Lamadre: Very somber horse possessing a glorious mustache. As long as its rider is honorable and motivated, Rabban will appear in their dreams to offer platitudes and advice. When its rider dies, Rabban will appear to them, offering its body. If the person accepts, they return the day, sharing Rabban’s body. 
83. Montresor: Staggers around as if it were drunk, falling over at least once ever hour. Only sobers up when drunk (which only requires about 20 drinks). When sober, is an exceptionally quick and attentive steed.
84. Bitey the Unicorn: Appears to be a unicorn with its horn sawed off, deprived of all its powers except for the ability to know the entire sexual history of anyone it looks at. Makes for a passable horse, except it will only allow riders who are virgins. Bites sluts remorselessly. (A slut, in this context, is anyone who enjoys sex too much or has had sex too recently.)
85. Benisequash: An Enchanted Dwarven Pony. Under the saddle there is a keyhole. If unlocked (by using the key provided), the entire back of the horse will open to reveal an wood-walled space, the same dimensions as a large chest. This doesn’t seem to affect the horse’s biology. At the bottom of the chest is the horse’s living heart, still pumping blood.
86. Iron Head: Head permanently locked inside a metal spike-helmet. Trained to batter down doors. Will knock down the average door after 1d6 bashes. Will knock itself out after 1d4+2 attempts (unless the door is open by then). Afraid of goblins.
87. Moonbeam: No legs. Levitates. Mechanically identical to a normal horse, except no kick or trample attacks. Eats half as much.
88. Lucifer: This red-skinned horse smells of brimstone. Instead of a tail, it has a long handle extending from its ass. If this handle is grasped firmly and pulled, the horse will turn inside out and a morningstar will be pulled from the horse’s ass. (You are basically turning the horse into a weapon.) It is a morningstar (d6) enhanced against goblins, farmers, and clergy.
89. The King of Horses: Must be treated with the utmost deference and respect. All other horses will bow to the King of Horses upon meeting him, and at no point will any horse act against the King of Horses, even refusing to charge against an army that fields him. Will only allow himself to be ridden by royalty, but has a hard time figuring this out with his horsey brain. Functionally--anyone in fancy clothes who wears a crown and smells nice will do.
90. Imbri: This coal-black horse sleeps all day, catatonically. During the night, she can run at 10x speed overland by jumping through people’s dreams (but only over land where dreaming people are--she's mostly useless in a desert). If the rider is abandoned by Imbri while in a dream, they are stranded there.
91. Jigello: This simpering, idiotic horse has only 1 HP. If it takes damage or suffers a sudden impact, it deflates. It can be revived with 1 minute with a patch kit (or glue) and 10 minutes of blowing air into its mouth. Extremely bouyant. Loves sweets.
92. Guzza: This horse is always wet, and bits of him are always dropping off. Can squeeze through openings as small as 1 inch in diameter. Only eats roots, tubers, and animal skin. Licks fingers to show affection.
93. Richelieu: This horse constantly emits a low glow, as bright as a torch. Rapidly ages, and will die in a week unless it spends a day buried underground, which regenerates its youth.
94. Traverlane: Does not whinny, but instead sings like a bird. If stabbed, songbirds exit the wound. If kissed, any curses on the kisser are transferred instead to Traverlane. All of this is disclosed by the salesman. Currently cursed to die in a fire, so fire attacks are Enhanced against it (This last fact is not disclosed.)
95. Milchie: Impossibly flatulent. Makes it impossible to surprise things. If hugged around the midsection and squeezed, will produce an stinking cloud, which causes all breathing things in 50’ to begin retching and vomiting for 1 minute. Milchie is not immune to this effect.
96. Scamperella the Dancing Horse: Knows 55 different dances and can teach them to you, if you request them by name. Includes the forbidden dance known as “The Black Mamba” which drives onlookers insane. Can also be commanded to dance as it walks away, which exerts a pied piper-like effect on nearby children (or any juvenile animal).
97. Rufus Damascus: Smokes a pipe. Trained to notice clues and solve mysteries. If the party misses a clue, Rufus has a 5-in-6 chance to notice it, and then point it out by rolling his eyes and flicking his tail in the appropriate direction. Each day spent riding through town gives Rufus a 1-in-6 chance of noticing a new mystery, which he will then be eager to solve, and melancholy if not allowed to.
98. Yellow Beedums: Prances like a deer. Incredibly difficult to ride, and takes a week of practice before you stop having a bruised butt (move at half speed). Moves twice as fast. Only happy when sticking its head through a window and making goofy faces.
99. Sir Dashfallon: Immortal. Grey. Acts like an exceptionally intelligent warhorse with a peculiar love of battle. Automatically succeeds at all fear-based saves its attacks are boosted to d8 damage for the rest of the day when it does. Whenever it or its rider kills a worthy enemy, it announces a number. It is counting down from nine. It never speaks at any other time. When the count reaches zero, Sir Dashfallon announces “The circle is complete; the covenant is returned”, turns into a giant crystal shaped like a horse head, and offers to give the party a ride inside him to any location they desire (even extraplanar ones). After discharging this obligation (if applicable), Sir Dashfallon flies into the sun.
100. The Negahorse: Horse-shaped hole in the universe, filled with stars and inky blackness. Wears an insulated saddle to prevent frostbiter of the rider. Immune to non-magical damage, does not tire, and is capable of running to any named location she has previously visited. Possesses an uncontrollable urge to collide with a regular horse. If this happens, both horses are annihilated in an explosion that does d12 damage to all in 20’, gives a random mutation (save negates) to all in 100’, and kills all horses in a ten mile radius. It is sold with a hood, so that you can throw it over the Negahorse’s head when it catches sight of another horse. (This is the only method the previous owners have had success with, as the negahorse is a powerful runner and jumper. They do not realize how dangerous an horse - antihorse collision would be.)

The Death of Arcana (plus Oddities to find)

The Death of Arcana
Arcana were introduced to the game to act as rule-breakers. Items that function as magic does in D&D, or high-tech does in Sci Fi games. Early versions were simply D&D spells bolted onto an item, some of those even made their way into the book.

But the more Arcana I create, the more I move away from seeing them as spell-replacements. They could be entirely passive, one-use only, big enough to be completely immobile, bolted onto a weapon, or existing within a living creature.

And where is the line? Is the Heat Ray from the starter list really an Arcanum? It doesn’t break any rules in an interesting way, it just zaps through things.

Don’t get me wrong, I want the Heat Ray in my game, but it’s just an example of how the boundaries between Arcana and Fancy-Item are blurred.

At the moment the distinction only actually matters in two places. Highly specific abilities that interact with Arcana, and more frequently in the ruling that characters can “bend an Arcanum to their will” with a WIL Save, altering its effect somehow.

The tie to WIL from the very start, albeit in different forms. It gives WIL an active use, which is nice. It meant you could create a character that was great at using Arcana, if you had your heart set on a wizard before your GM told you that this game is classless. Without that, if you rolled an 18 WIL it was hard to get excited.

Frankly I don’t know if I want Arcana to be some specific group of items any more.

There’s weird stuff all over the Odd World, and most of it isn’t drawn from an Arcanum. It’s just an Odd place, so of course there are talking snails in the Underground, and cow-titans in Deep Country. Sure, this guy’s a hologram, and this device lets you move the stars around to summon astral abominations. Why does only that last one get its own special classification?

The solution?

There are normal things, and there are Oddities, and the boundary is a huge mess. The term Oddity carries no mechanical impact, but the word can be used to describe any fantasy or sci-fi element in comparison to the more mundane Industrial-Era content.

A spider that weaves webs out of light instead of silk.
A poison gas grenade launcher.
The bits of the Underground that don’t follow the laws of physics.

So new characters might start out with an Oddity, most likely of which will be an item carrying a certain power. Any existing abilities linked to Arcana can probably apply to Oddities, and the Referee can apply judgement on how they function.

Bending their power to your will with a WIL Save? Looking back, I’d rather give Oddities their own risks, limitations, and side-effects, then let the players get creative in working out a way to bypass them. Giving WIL an Active Use was more of a motivator for this rule than it should have been, and I’ve moved away from the idea that all Ability Scores must be equal. I won’t be shutting down any players that want to get creative with Arcana in my games, but I might try shifting the focus from the WIL score. Expect a post on WIL Score soon to address its future. Rest assured it’s not going anywhere.

What does this mean for your Into the Odd Rulebook? Tear it up and await Into the Odd 2nd Edition?

Nah, that’s not happening any time soon. Just be aware that I might call things Oddities instead of Arcana, then the next day I’ll forget about this post and call it an Arcanum again. 

That's a lot of waffle. Let's put it into practice.

Oddities to Find

Bombs
I love bombs. In the same way as potions they’re sort of self balancing by their one-shot nature. Of course it all goes wrong if you can make a load of them, but these are all intended to either be one-off items, or something you get one small batch of and never any more.

Roll d10

1: Crank Bomb

Turn a crank to power it up. Roll d6 for each turn you crank it, charging up the damage that is released when you eventually throw it. If the charge reaches 13 damage or more it blows up in your face.

2: Mass Bomb

Has a spike on top that takes a small sample of the material it is stuck into (must be soft enough to prod, no gold). Explodes to fill a 10x10 area with that material. Organic tissue created this way will live if it can, but most likely not.

3: Slam Bomb

Causes all doors and lids in 10m to violently slam open or shut, even if locked.

4: Portal Bomb

Has a home pod that must be fixed onto a solid surface. Anything the bomb strikes, up to the size of a wagon, is teleported back to the home pod and the bomb along with it.

5: Monster Bomb

Requires a brain to be fed into a funnel on top of the bomb. An hour later it lights up as ready. When you throw the bomb a monstrous version of the brain’s owner is spawned and immediately hostile.

6: Piranha Bomb

Spawns a swarm of hungry piranhas (6hp, d6 jaws, detachment). When no food is left they devour each other Obviously ineffective out of water.

7: Airmines

A floating sac of explosive gas (d10 blast). Far too sensitive, so a 1 in 6 chance that it goes off prematurely, causing no harm.

8: Augmentor Bomb

Explodes in a 5m cloud of shimmering air. Whoever is in the blast gets a random mechanical augmentation.
1: Digster - Replaces mouth. Mechanical voice and vomit a corrosive slime at will (d6 ongoing damage, melt stuff).
2: Extender - Replaces neck. Extend up to 10m at will.
3: Thruster - Replaces anus. Converts waste into a powerful rocket-thrust once per day.
4: Wings - Fly and Slash (d8)
5: Trunk - Replaces nose, prehensile, scent analysis
6: Observer Dome - Replaces top half of head. 360 degree vision, d6 laser, levitate small items towards you.

Arms
Literal or otherwise, they’re things you can use to hurt things in a pretty direct manner. Nothing should just be a better version of a gun or sword, so they’ve all got their own deal going on. As discussed, the line between Arcana and weapon was always blurred.

Roll d6
1: Light-Grapple
Functions as a grappling hook and rope, but fires an unbreakable "rope" of red light that can hook onto anything. Can be used to throw targets around for d6 damage, more if you can get them to fall or fly onto something nasty. Targets bigger than you get a STR Save to try to pull you instead. 

2: Predator Tick
A tiny bug that burrows into the back of your neck and whispers hunting advice directly into your brain. Gives you enhanced sense of smell and a venomous bite that paralyses the target when you cause Critical Damage. The tick needs lots of food, so you don't benefit from a Short Rest unless you eat a large snack. Removing the tick causes d12 STR loss in the wild, or d6 under proper surgical conditions.

3: Banishment Stake
Can be used as a regular weapon (d6), but if stabbed into a living heart (Critical Damage) the victim is transported to a Far Land without harm. If they get back to you they'll undoubtedly be changed.

4: Shredder Arms
A rig of six arms that fits onto your torso and lets you lash out for d10 damage, climb like a spider, and play complex musical pieces. If you take damage the arms lash out for d6 damage to everyone within reach.

5: Unstoppable Rod Launcher
A heavy tube that fires a single metal rod (d10) that never stops. Will smash through anything in its way until reaching the edge of existence.

6: Murder Lizard
A black and red terrier-sized lizard (5hp, Armour 1, d6 Venomous Bite, d6 STR loss on Critical Damage). If given a taste of any organic tissue it will hunt down the source unerringly and murder it, before seeking out a new master nearby.

Other Oddities

And now the general Oddities.

Roll d8
1: Mother Maggot
Wooly sheep-sized maggot that consumes wood, stone, or metal and excrete a delicious and nourishing porridge.

2: Egg of Immortality
A hollow egg that renders the carrier immune to any harm. Must be openly carried in an open hand, covering the egg in any prevents it from working. Incredibly delicate and loses all power if broken.

3: Pawn Tube
A big golden funnel that can be spiked into the ground. Feed any item into it and a rock or gem worth half of its market value is shot out. If the same stone is returned to the funnel, the item is traded back. 

4: Minion-Maker
A pink headband that turns the wearer into a mindless automaton, obeying any command given to it.

5: Sorrow Stone
A little black stone that gives you the benefit of a Short Rest if you hurt someone, and the benefits of a Long Rest if you torture someone.

6: Caustic Weed
Can be smoked, but causes d8 STR damage if inhaled. Can be blown into someone's face for d8 damage, ignoring armour.

7: Terrible Yeast
Consumes alcohol and flavour. Excretes sugar and tart acids. 

8: Primordial Slime
Can be rubbed onto skin, leaving it soft and jelly-like. You can now bend and squeeze as if you had no bones or internal organs, but you only benefit from rests while in water. If you spend a day out of water the effects wear off. 

Too Long in Deep Country

The wind is colder here. The hills are steeper. The wounds left by hungry birds sting more, and your soft city flesh gets infected with tough-skinned maggots.

But it's nice and quiet if you want to get away from things.

If you've had your fill of wandering, roll d20 to see which faint dot of civlisation you find, and what's happening there.

1-4: Banto Rest Lodge
An overgrown old lodge for retired sociopaths to live out their days tormenting each other. They'll put you up for the night but expect malicious pranks from the residents.

1: A little bald old man is going on a rampage because everyone else is pretending he's invisible. They're sticking to the prank far beyond the point of their own safety.
2: The Lodge Matron has put all the residents to bed early after a particularly bloody foodfight. Two bodies are being buried outside.
3: All the residents are pretending to be dead. Each has a 10% chance of just slipping into death during this prank.
4: The Lodge Matron is being roasted alive over a spit.

5-8: Futhkerskuff Ranch
A ranch with dozens of staff tending to just one animal, a huge titan-cow with rocky chunks of flesh that periodically fall off for meat collection (STR 19, DEX 3, WIL 2, 3hp, Armour 2, d10 Trample, Fights as Detachment). They'll give you a meal and bed if you do some work.

5: The titan-cow has broken loose from its unbreakable chain, and needs bringing back in.
6: The titan-cow has eaten all of the ranch staff, and it sits deserted beside the sleeping beast.
7: It's a great meat-harvest this week, so the staff are making the biggest stew in history. The meat is dry and gravelly.
8: The titan-cow has laid a boulder-sized egg, and the staff are arguing whether it's too dangerous to allow it to hatch. Apparently the young are very boisterous and don't know their own strength.

9-12: Leetdeane Practical Boy's School
A dirty old boarding school for children that parents want to disappear. You can stay the night if you can put up with the sobbing.

9: It's micro-lobotomy day, and the boys are having a small part of their brain burnt away by pouring a chemical up the nostril. Those that come out of the infirmary seem pretty content. Those going in are kicking and screaming.
10: A nearby (week's travel) school have come to take part in a Mallet-Match. Boys fight in teams of twelve with heavy wooden mallets, wearing leather caps for protection. The waist-or-below rule is not enforced well, and the last team standing wins.
11: The boys are being taught to use a macro-welder used in laying rails. You see a handful of boys almost die within the first few minutes of the lesson. If you leave them to it, 2d20-10 out of the class of 30 will die.
12: The boys have rebelled and locked the teachers up in the Time Out Cage. They're getting drunk, making huge sandwiches, and raiding the forbidden library for books about female anatomy.

13-15: Tower of Universal Loverhood
A towering monastery built in the name of love for all living things. Full of filthy pigs and cultists that have uncomfortably close relationships with them. You can stay if one of the pigs takes a liking to you. At the first pork joke you're expelled.

13: Celebrating the imminent birth of a new litter of piglets. Make the birthing ceremony grosser than I care to write here.
14: Ordaining a life partnership between a tall, spotty cultist and her favourite pig.
15: Feasting on fodder from a giant trough, allowing food to pass between the mouths of pig and man.

16-18: Howull
A town built around a huge sinkhole previously mined for deep-metals. Lies mostly in ruins. More dogs than people. You can stay the night if you can put up with the residents constantly interrupting you to explain why Bastion is terrible and Howull is great.

16: It's the annual dog cull, so people are chasing down the oldest dogs and throwing them into the sinkhole.
17: Something is stirring in the sinkhole, so the town militia are trying to get a boulder over to the sinkhole to drop on it.
18: The sinkhole is open for mining again! Some new rare metal has been found at the deepest point, and a mini gold-rush is starting.

19-20: Gran's Labyrinth
An ancient hedge and stone maze filled with deathtraps, now occupied by a sweetly malicious old crone (STR 5, DEX 5, WIL 7, 10hp, d4 Rolling Pin) that shouts bad advice from the tower in the center, luring you deeper inside.

19: The concentrated smell of plum crumble is being pumped out of pipes around the labyrinth's enterance.
20: Silence. Gran is dead, and her porcelain collectibles (around 1g total) are up for grabs!

Non-Alien Cult Idols

Not everything is aliens.

 These cults base themselves on a site of great importance to their idol, and interfere in the lives of people that don't see their idol as a holy thing but just a thing. 

For every Cult there is at least one splinter group that believe they're worshiping their idol in the wrong way, and another that think idolising the thing at all is unholy.

Roll d100 to find out what a Cult idolises. It's up to you whether their idol is a legitimate higher power or not.

1. A brightly coloured frog. 
2. The concept of hunger and what it drives people to do. 
3. A huge golden baby statue.  
4. Another cult, who hate them.  
5. The darkness between streetlamps.  
6. Streetlamps.  
7. The act of idolatry.  
8. Peaceful discussion and tea.  
9. Angry mobs, bigger means more holy.   
10. Anyone who ever claims to have ruled Bastion in equal measure. 
11. A very specific type of sweet wine.
12. The process of carpentry. 
13. Huge elk that live in the coldest parts of Deep Country.
14. Their glass cathedral. 
15. Triangles.
16. Gunpowder.
17. Scar-Maps.
18. Kickboxing. 
19. Absolute Nothingness.
20. A set of symbols on an old rock that nobody can agree on the meaning of.
21. Anything that can burn, but not the act of burning.
22. Massacres.
23. Every set of genitals in the world.
24. Cloud Patterns.
25. The gutter.
26. Cosmetic Surgery.
27. Smells, the more potent the better.
28. Toxic flower extracts.
29. Gruel.
30. An obsolete pipe network underneath the city.
31. Walls.
32. Glass-blowing.
33. Being beaten with sticks of bamboo.
34. Great feats of strength.
35. An ancient solved board-game.
36. Answering a question with a question. 
37. Anything that comes in a matched pair.
38. Smashing things under a massive weight.
39. The way oil separates from water.
40. Monotone Singing.
41. Properly written letters of complaint.
42. Looking at things under microscope.
43. Walking through a pool of treacle.
44. Taxes.
45. Guard Brutality.
46. Net-Weaving.
47. Telling exaggerated stories about distant lands.
48. Broken compasses.
49. Personal Hygiene. 
50. Tiny blue berries that grow underground.
51. A fossilised ape skeleton. 
52. Over-feeding animals. 
53. Crusty old man strapped to a chair.  
54. The destruction of other cults.  
55. Shadows cast by moonlight.  
56. Disguising one's appearance.  
57. Disproving other cults.  
58. Drunken arguments.  
59. Tiny animals, the smaller the more holy.   
60. The recently dead from natural causes.  
61. A bitter root that makes disgusting tea.
62. Melting things. 
63. Electric eels.
64. A that they know has no significance, but that's sort of the point. 
65. Smooth edges.
66. The process of smoke-drying things.
67. The cries of newborns.
68. Blood-letting. 
69. Literally everything.
70. A set of holy numbers.
71. Putting out fires.
72. Mass syncronised births.
73. Extracted brains.
74. Staring into the sun until your eyes hurt and you start to see blurred things.
75. The wealthy.
76. The aging process.
77. Cheese rind.
78. Fragrant herbs.
79. Caviar.
80. The pattern formed by the road and canal network.
81. Anything found underground.
82. Building sand sculptures.
83. Rubbing nettles on yourself and not being allowed to scratch.
84. Mathematical prowess. .
85. A game that seems to have entirely different rules each time.
86. Only ever saying Yes or No. 
87. Completely unique items, which turns out to be almost everything.
88. Creating tiny models of things.
89. Boiling things.
90. Manic screeching and banging of drums.
91. Vigilante Justice.
92. Looking down at the world from a great height.
93. Going deep underwater.
94. Charity.
95. Proper etiquette.
96. Releasing captive animals to the wild.
97. Calling people out on lies.
98. Convincing people to go into the Polar Ocean to die.
99. Becoming filthier and filthier. 
100. Ridiculous outfits.

d6 Island Settlements

Of course there are settlements between Bastion and the Golden Lands. Some of them sit on little islands, so let's see which one you hit.

1: Library - A few brick houses skirting outside a circular metal shrine. Inside the Librarian guards all knowledge ever, taking the form of a big yellow holographic head. People line up outside to seek his council, but he generally only sees d6-1 people per day before bellowing LIBRARIAN MUST STUDY across the island. His answers are based on combined belief of the people on the island, and have no grounding in fact. If people leave the island, his presence becomes smaller and stupider.
2: Talva - Ornate, black city of canals and bridges built as a prince's mausoleum. A few miserable, hungry people potter about its empty buildings. The water is black and acidic, with only chitinous sharks left as the only food source. They're getting better at catching fishermen off guard. Ground has been salted so nothing can be grown. Arcana do not function here.
3: Antivoy - A glowing hole in the ground at the top of a grassy peak cropping out from the sea. The tiny community of artists and philosophers claim looking inside gives inspiration into the truths of the world. In reality it causes a mild seizure with distressing nightmares for the d10 hours that the victim is unconscious, losing 1 WIL each hour. A few no-nonsense mountain men think anyone that looks into the light is an idiot, but will happily take money off people to guide them to the peak.
4: Wispra - A dozen crooked temples nested on a rocky crag, each holding a mostly-silent brotherhood of monks guarding a unique and terrible secret. They can't resist trying to discover the secrets of the other brotherhoods, mostly out of boredom. Big pelicans attack anyone that stays outside for too long in daytime.
5: Suffpit - Rickety wooden walkways around a colossal, foaming whirlpool. A cult worship the phenomenon and encourage offerings to be thrown in. They seek a chosen one that can survive swimming from one side to the other. Supremely meaty salmon romp in the waters at breeding time.
6: Umnergrotto - Huge cavern inside a glowing, crystalline mountain. Thousands of mining families dig deeper in search of the source of its glow. Water that flows from the mountain also glows, but is a painful neurotoxin, but can be brewed, losing its glow. Pig-sized flying bugs are a good food source as fleshy young, but mature adults grow hairy shells and crocodillian jaws.

d12 Odd Cargo

Roll d12 to find out what those weird guys were hauling.

Image Source

1 - Soldier Seed
Polished tins of silver seeds. Label shows immaculately uniformed soldiers growing out of a vegetable patch. If planted, will sprout misshapen babies after a day. They grow into twisted toddlers within the week, and within two weeks into big, bent, knotted men that cry out in agony, but serve remarkably well. If cut from the ground early they turn black and die in an hour.
Seeded Soldier Regiment (3hp, STR 14, joints and hair in all the wrong places)

2 - Bright Mountain Dust
Glow-in-the-dark quartzlike rock that, in moderation, is like a tastier, more intense salt. If too much is eaten (if in doubt, it's too much) the victim vomits glowing sludge until they pass a STR Save. If directly licked, the licker vomits, and their tongue swells and goes limp. They can only talk like an idiot for the rest of the day.

3 - Penal Shell
Iron barrel worn like a tortoise shell (Armour 1), spiked on the inside, with holes for limbs to just stick out. Locks shut if someone gets inside it, and the keys aren't here. You'll need a specialist to bust it open. All actions are impaired and the wearer is constantly poked with spikes, suffering a further d6 damage if shaken or knocked about.

4 - Winter Syrup
Between molasses and lard, savoury and sweet, rations and fossil fuel. Favoured by Polar explorers and young academics that eat vast quantities as a hazing ritual.

5 - Eternity Deeds
Hundreds of documents agreeing for future descendants of the signer to become property of Workmaster Enterprise Camps in return for advanced payment.

6 - Star-Child Confit
10ft metal tin filled with dense white fat. Deep in the middle is the preserved corpse of a winged, boneless child with long fingers and empty eye sockets.

7 - Nerve Wax
Causes some numbing at touch. Rubbing it in causes dull pain in that body part that lasts the rest of the day. Extended rubbing-in causes agonising pain that impairs all action and causes loss of 1 WIL each hour unless thoroughly washed off with very hot water.

8 - Void Totem
Massive (20ft) black rock held in a wooden crate. Almost a cube, pretty much unbreakable. Small hole (inch wide) in the center of the top side that annihilates anything placed inside. If the rock is somehow broken (impossible by any previous attempts) it annihilates everything within a mile.

9 - Killing Eagles
Metal gargoyles of eagles tearing apart smaller versions of various other animals. The eyes glow at night. If you kill the eagle's prey animal in its vision, its eyes will blast rays of light indiscriminately for d10 damage before returning to its dormant state.

10 - Humungo
A truly humongous (STR 18, DEX 8, WIL 4, 10hp, Armour 1, 12ft tall) man inked with astral symbols. Totally bestial in behaviour. Trapped in a man-shaped iron-banded box that holds him in place with only a hole at the mouth, and one at the base.

11 - Blown Wishes
Hundreds of seemingly empty glass jars. Each is labelled with a name (first name only).

12 - Ultra-Snare
A metal ball of wire held in a seriously reinforced ceramic chest. If thrown with any force it unleashes a vast forest of razor-wire that causes d6 damage to all in the area. Anyone moving within the wire must do so very slowly and carefully, or else take d6 damage. Seemingly no way to retract the snare.

Injuries, and Worse

+Joe Banner has inspired me to push out this option for anyone that thinks Into the Odd isn't horrible enough.

When you suffer Ability Score loss, but survive, roll on the appropriate table for the Ability Score that you lost points in. Common sense determines if they're permanent or temporary. If unsure, it's 50/50.

STRENGTH (from physical attacks)

1: Gushing wound. Lose a further 1d6 STR every turn until patched up. 

2: Maimed. Roll 1d6 and lose 1: Head, 2: Hand, 3: Arm, 4: Leg, 5: Ear, 6: Eye. 

3: Spinal Tear. Any STR loss from this attack is permanent. 

4: Whatever caused the harm is lodged inside you. It causes another 1d6 STR loss if it's not pulled out carefully. 

5: Punctured Lung. You wheeze loudly forever. 

6: Brain Hit Bad. Lose 1d6 WIL permanently. 

7: Concussion. You act like a dope for the rest of the day. 

8: Ruined Arm. You cannot use a random arm for anything. If you lose your good arm, attacks with your off-hand are Impaired until you get used to it in d20 Months. 

9: Broken jaw. You can't talk properly until it heals. 

10: Crushed ribs. If you take further STR loss before your next Full Rest, you take an additional 1d6 damage. 

11: Choked. You can't breath without assistance, and will die in 1d6 turns unless somebody helps you. 

12: Flesh Wound. It's not all that bad. Wicked scar too. 

STRENGTH (from other sources)

1: You throw up a lot. 

2: You have the shivers at the slightest cold. 

3: Foaming mouth. 

4: Lose clumps of hair. 

5: Your complexion goes all gross and yellow. 

6: Bad reaction! The STR loss is permanent!

7: You become so sickly that you can never regain lost STR. 

8: One eye dies. 

9: Half of your face falls immobile. 

10: Hair turns grey/white/to-dust. 

11: Impotent. 

12: You shake it off! ARGH!! RARRR! I'M HARDCORE. 

DEXTERITY

1: You've got the shakes forever. Lose 1d6 DEX to a minimum of 1. 

2: You'll never dance again. 

3: You can't stand up quickly anymore. 

4: Spasms whenever least convenient, unless you pass a WIL Save. 

5: Cannot walk at all without a stick. 

6: Hobble for the rest of your life. 

7: Comatose. Attempt a WIL Save after d20 days to restore movement. 

8: Balance is shot. Require DEX Saves for things that aren't even difficult ordinarily. 

9: You can't turn your neck anymore. 

10: One eye permanently closed. 

11: Slack tongue. You sound like an idiot. 

12: You drool if you're not careful. 

WILLPOWER

1: Stammer. 

2: You need a drink to steady your nerves, otherwise you have the shakes. 

3: You have a phobia of whatever did this to you. WIL Save to confront it again. 

4: Surge of idiotic heroism. You can only act if it's suitably stupid and heroic, until you get a short rest. 

5: You become an incredibly picky eater. WIL Save to avoid vomiting any meal. 

6: Insomnia. You only benefit from Full Rests if you pass a WIL save and get some sleep. 

7: Sensitivity. Sudden, loud noises cause you to lose 1d6 WIL. 

8: Delusion. From now on the Referee rolls all your dice and keeps track of your scores, damage etc. in secret. 

9: Obsession. You cannot benefit from Long Rests until you confront whatever did this to you and get revenge. 

10: Anxiety. You cannot benefit from rests until you're somewhere completely, 100% safe, and not even slightly dangerous. 

11: Trigger Happy. Whenever there's a surprise, and you're armed, you must pass a WIL Save to avoid attacking the surprising thing. 

12: Hallucinations, only when you're alone, and you can only find out if they're real by touching them. 

How Bad is Bastion Today?

Roll d8 on each table at the start of every morning, afternoon, and evening in Bastion.

How Bad is the Traffic?

(d6 in Morning, d8 at other times)

1-3: Things worsen by one step. If this is the first roll, treat as a 5. If things can't get worse, they find a way. 

4: Road Rage. Drivers have turned to crazed fighters, horses run feral, and burning carriages litter the street. 

5: Gridlock. Nobody can get anywhere. 

6: Slow: Getting anywhere by road takes forever. 

7: Jerks Everywhere. Everyone's driving like a jerk. 

8: Not That Bad! You can get around without much trouble. 

How Bad is the Smog?

1-3: Things worsen by one step. If this is the first roll, treat as a 5. If things can't get worse, they find a way. 

4: Choking. Better get underground! Lose 1 STR for every minute of exposure. 

5: Grey-Out. You can't see your hand in front of your face. Everything is filthy once it clears. 

6: Hazardous. The lamps are on, and you can just see to the other side of the street. 

7: Smoggy. You can just make out the top of buildings. 

8: Not That Bad! Remarkably clear! 

How Bad are the Ragamuffins?

1-3: Things worsen by one step. If this is the first roll, treat as a 5. If things can't get worse, they find a way. 

4: Feral. They've deteriorated into a pack of wild beasts!

5: Out in Force. They're out to pickpocket and mug whatever and whoever they can. 

6: Pranking: They've got a plot to make you look like an idiot. 

7: Plotting. They're all meeting up Underground.

8: Not That Bad! They might even help for a shilling. 

How Bad are the Drunks?

(d10 in morning, d8 in afternoon, d6 at night)

1-3: Things worsen by one step. If this is the first roll, treat as a 5. If things can't get worse, they find a way. 

4: Street War Soldiers are clashing with drunk rioters in the streets. Bars are being burnt down, and it's open warfare in Bastion!

5: Brawling: They're fighting each other in large groups. 

6: Rowdy: Breaking into places to steal more drink. 

7: Up to No Good. Bellowing, fighting, and pissing everywhere. 

8+: Not That Bad! They're almost singing in tune. 

Sneak Peeks into the Oddpendium

 

Karmic Quirk Table

Your one-hitpoint Fighter meets an unglamorous death thirty minutes into the game. You shrug and roll up a new character, who comes out with six hitpoints and STR 17. What kind of karma is that for throwing a life away?

Enter the Karmic Quirk table.

After rolling a replacement character, roll once on this table for every character you have previously lost in this campaign. So if you've had two characters die already, you roll twice on here. For duplicates take the next entry down the table, looping up at 20.

Karmic Quirks (d20)
1 - Ugly: Really, really ugly. Nobody wants to look at you any longer than necessary, but they always remember your weird face.
2 - Poverty: Start with only rags and a stick.
3 - Plague: Start with the Plague. Lose 1 CON each day until treated. Anyone close to you must pass a Save each day or become infected.
4 - Lice: You itch with lice. Anyone living closely with you must pass a Save each day or catch them too.
5 - Fish-Tongue: You speak in a slobbery drone that people find either annoying or amusing.
6 - Pig-Eye: You have tiny eyes and are likely to miss visual clues obvious to everyone else.
7 - Missing Limb: Roll 1d6 - 1-3: Arm, 4-6: Leg.
8 - Dumb: Reduce INT to 3.
9 - Unholy: Any sort of divine blessing has the opposite effect on you.
10 - Severe Allergy: If exposed to your allergen you must Save or Die. Roll 1d6 - 1: Alcohol, 2: Nuts, 3: Insect Stings, 4: Shellfish, 5: Antidote, 6: Dairy Products.
11 - Stalker: You have an obsessive follower that makes your life a pain. Roll 1d6 - 1: Mother, 2: Father, 3: Childhood Friend, 4-5: Ex Lover, 6: Ex-Lover who is also a Wizard.
12 - Fussy: There's a 50% chance that any meal served to you isn't to your liking. Unless you get a meal you enjoy you recover HP at half the normal rate.
13 - Deluded: The GM rolls another Quirk in secret. You're completely unaware of it.
14 - Super-Illiterate: You can't read, and attempting to read causes you 1d6 damage.
15 - Blind Confidence: The GM rerolls your HP in secret. You never know how many HP you have.
16 - Debt: You owe some a number of GP equal to 1 with 1d6 zeros on the end.
17 - Addict: Lose 1 maximum HP each day you don't indulge, to a minimum of 1hp. A binge restores all hp lost this way. Roll 1d6 - 1-2: Alcohol, 3-4: Tobacco, 5: Opiates, 6: Dream Fungus.
18 - Phobic: Subtract 1 from all rolls in the presence of your phobia. Subtract 5 when interacting directly with it. Roll 1d6: 1: Bugs, 2: Lizards/Snakes, 3: Magical Things, 4: Darkness, 5: Blood, 6: Heights.
19 - Uncool: You're such a dork. You'll never, ever be cool.
20 - Bad Name: The GM decides on your name, and it has to be really embarrassing. The other characters all know your real name, so you can't just go by a nickname.

Six Adventurers that are Better Than You

1: Farjal the Red Death will fight for whoever pays him. Hope he hasn't been hired to kill you. He never works with anyone else.
STR 12 (+2), DEX 14 (+4), INT 10 (+0), WIL 12 (+2), 12HP, Armour 2.
Longsword, Light Armour, Shield.
Flaming Ring Arcanum: Heat Ray (Power 4), Inferno (Power 6), The Beast Within (Power 8).
Heat Ray: Target must pass a DEX Save vs your INT or take 4d6 damage.
Inferno: Cause a source of fire to explode, causing 5d6 damage to all within 20ft. Targets may pass an INT Save vs your 10 to only take 1d6 damage instead.
The Beast Within: Add 2d6-1 to STR and DEX but also subtract this number from INT and WIL (to a minimum of 1) and lose the ability to speak. This lasts for 8 rounds.

2: Dargaz the Huntmaster only seeks new trophies. He has made lots of enemies in this area in the past.
STR 10 (+0), DEX 11 (+1), INT 15 (+5), WIL 13 (+3), 10HP.
Heavy Polearm (Wildstaff), Longbow, pack of ten faithful hounds.
Wildstaff Arcanum: Dire Beasts (Power 10).
Dire Beasts: Up to five animals double in size for 10 minutes, doubling HP and gaining 8 STR. They also grow much more violent.

3: Arnet the Cloak will steal anything you have that he wants and may kill you to keep things simple. Will never kill women or children.
STR 9 (-1), DEX 16 (+6), INT 13 (+3), WIL 8 (-2), 9HP, Armour 1.
Light Armour, Two Daggers, Crossbow, Various types of poison, Thief's tools.
The Jet Dog Arcanum: Veil Senses (Power 4).
Veil Senses:: Target makes a WIL Save vs your WIL or is Blinded or Deafened until the curse is lifted. Blind opponents subtract 10 from DEX and INT.

4: Rock Varga will pick a fight with nearly anyone just to show off. Considers himself a drink connoisseur, which seems at odds with his personality.
STR 16 (+6), DEX 13 (+3), INT 11 (+1), WIL 10 (+0), 16HP, Armour 3.
Heavy Mace, Heavy Armour, Shield.

5: Castellan Haumar wants to know what you're doing in his domain and when you're leaving. He's terrified of a neighbouring domain attacking, so has little time to waste with you.
STR 11 (+1), DEX 12 (+2), INT 11 (+1), WIL 15 (+5), 11HP, Armour 2.
Halberd, Heavy Armour, SIZ 4 Domain. Always accompanied by his personal guard of ten heavily armoured knights.

6: Omal, Bearer of the Eye will provide excellent healing services for a cost. He will also try to recruit you into his creepy cult.
STR 14 (+4), DEX 9 (-1), INT 10 (+0), WIL 15 (+5), 14HP, Armour 1.
Sword, Light Armour.
Glass Eye Arcanum: Madness (Power 8), Beast from Beyond (Power 8), Breath of Recovery (Power 4).
Madness: All within 15ft of a point must pass a WIL Save vs 16 or become confused for 8 rounds. Roll 1d6 at the start of each confused turn. 1: Attack the caster, 2: Act normally, 3: Do nothing, 4: Flee, 5: Attack nearest creature, 6: Attack nearest of their allies.
Beast from Beyond: Summon a horrific flying beast (STR 20, DEX 15, INT 10, WIL 4, Armour 2, 20HP, hits cause 1d6+1 Damage) to fight for you for 3d6 rounds. After this time it has free will.
Breath of Recovery: Touch a creature and restore 3d6 of their HP or 1d6 points in any one Ability Score. Take 1d6 Damage in return.

Six random jerks you annoy in town.

The PCs roll into town and somehow annoy someone with minutes. Roll to see who.
Written with Into the Odd in mind.
1d6 Roll
1: Yurg the Large (STR 16, DEX 7, WIL 9, 8hp, Armour 1, 15s, Fights unarmed for 1d6+1 damage): This guy just wants to punch you in front of everyone. Even the guards won't step in to stop him once he's pounding.

2: Furnum the Flash (STR 8, DEX 13, WIL 8, 10hp, Armour 1, heavy mace, light armour, 30s): This guy would rather embarrass you with some sharp put downs. He's needy enough that he'll make it his business to be wherever you go, ready to put you down.
3: Hurlett the Vague (STR 7, DEX 10, WIL 7, 3hp, dagger, 1s): Seems to be a completely mad woman. Takes issue with one of the party and shouts at them, throws rocks and generally causes a scene.
4: Rela the Cat (STR 10, DEX 14, WIL 10, 7hp, club, 18gp): Her and her two fellow footpads have targeted one of the group. As soon as the target is alone they'll strike.
5: Old Marl (STR 11, DEX 9, WIL 14, crossbow, 13hp, 5gp): He doesn't like wandering adventurers, even though he used to be one! He'll try to turn everyone against the party rather than directly confronting them.
6: Nyal the White (STR 14, DEX 13, WIL 13, 11hp, Armour 2, light armour, heavy axe, shield, 40gp): Far too eager to jump to the defence of someone you've mildly inconvenienced. Will immediately try to fight you out of town. Everyone else tries to ignore him.

Making the most of your Random Encounters

Here's the situation. Your adventurers are roaming through some rough hilly land on the way to their next shot at fame and fortune when suddenly... a random encounter!

As tempting as it is to take the result straight off the table and run through it as quickly as possible, there's no reason random encounters should be unrelated to the matters that are more at the forefront of the players' minds.

Taking some guidance from Treasure Tables the encounter can be sexed up to include a unique element and way for the game to progress if they fail. Throw in a link to an established feature of this area and suddenly your random encounter feels a lot more relevant to the game.

Using an Adventurer's Tale game I ran recently as an example, I'll hit up a random encounter generator for the aforementioned rough hills.

Three Zombie Ogres.

Link to the Game: There's no record of ogres in the area the players were in, but zombie ogres? These unfortunate creatures were servants of the local Dark Wizard, K'Thrax, who the players are very familiar with. They carry metal clubs that observant characters will recognise as being similar to those of K'Thrax's guards, but behind them they drag chains bound around their wrists and necks, in a sort of undead chain-gang. It seems even in their zombie form these ogres weren't keen on serving the Dark Wizard and made a break for it. Could this mean someone is chasing them? Is there enough intelligence left to be able to use them for good? I'd hold off on making them too aggressive and instead play them as more pitiful beasts.
Unique Element: To play up the pity angle I'd have the players encounter the Ogres trapped in a sudden dip in the rough hills, unable to climb back up the steep, jagged slopes. If the adventurers decide to fight the Ogres then play up the chain-gang aspect, perhaps having them attack in unison using their chains.
Way to Progress in case of Fail: These dim creatures will have no interest in eating the adventurers, as a normal ogre might. Instead they're more likely to beat them until they stop fighting back and continue attempting to climb the slope.

Much better.

And as a special treat...

Zombie Ogre
Body 10
Melee 5
Metal Club (Damage 4), 3d6 Treasure.
Relentless: A zombie ignores any non-critical hits that cause less than 4 Damage. Critical hits damage the Zombie as normal.
Clumsy: Opponents may add 2 to their Grace score when rolling against an Ogre.