Wednesday 22 April 2020

d6 Bastionane Beverage Establishments

While there are bits of Bastion that are what you'd imagine as industrial, residential, commercial, or civic districts, it's important to remember Bastion's Triple Rule.

And as everything has multiple purposes, one of them is most likely to feel out of place. Even in the quietest bits of the city there's something going on if you stop and take a look around.

A common theme is finding that a seemingly unrelated establishment is also operating as a bar.

When the players stop and look around to find a bar, roll d6 for a Bastionane Beverage Establishment

1: Soggy Little Sparks
  • Crumbly sandstone building patched up with colourfully painted wooden boards.
  • Destitute children use shoddy tools to fix electrical equipment in between shaking sweet cocktails over ice.
  • They work for a pittance, have alarming street-smarts, but occasionally splash water onto the electronics with disastrous results.
2: No-Frock-Alley Theatre
  • Radical art collective that allow anybody to join in their improvised theatre as long as they strip and burn their clothes right there and then.
  • Cast members are entitled to use any of the props piled up this alley for their act.
  • This includes a well-stocked bar, so most people are just using it as a booze-buffet.
3: New Textual Cafe
  • An exclusive new service where visitors can sit at a television and view electronic text, calling in to the Bastion Broadcast Office to add their own messages, all while sipping overpriced coffee.
  • It's mostly crude poetry, dirty jokes, and bad fantasy literature.
  • There's a hidden code that lets you order discretely-served but devastatingly-potent drinks from the cafe staff. 
4: Leviathan Milk Thumper

  • A huge pumping station connects to pipes deep in the underground, connected to a Deep Leviathan to extract its milk.
  • The milk is three ways:
    • Raw (£2, ultra-nourishing, but pretty foul)
    • Thumped (£4, sent back through the pipes, where ferments into a sour, cloudy beverage)
    • Double-Thumped (£12, sent back into the "long pipes" where it returns as a clear spirit, which grants visions of the Underground to those that drink it and doubles as a powerful catalyst for many chemical processes)
  • There are rumours of the mystical effects of "Triple Thumped" leviathan milk, but the staff assure you that they do not serve this version.

5: Ghost Bombers Spritz Bar
  • When it comes to ghosts in Bastion, it isn't that there's no proof, it's more that nobody agrees on what constitutes proof of ghosts when there are so many weird holographic machines, immaterial aliens, and even Mock Ghosts creating confusion.
  • This office serves clients that want to get rid of whatever ghost-like being is intruding on their property. They get the client to sign an extensive waiver and then deploy "Ghost Bombs" (actually just bombs) on the property. When only rubble remains the being has usually left as well.
  • Their Customer Complaints department also serves as a bar serving ghost-themed spritzes, and is popular enough that drinkers will often just fabricate a complaint so that they can go and drink there.
6: The Geologitastic Roadshow

  • A sprawling road-train that operates as a mobile museum, nay, carnival of geology.
  • Visitors are admitted to the front of the train and must enjoy each exhibit-carriage in full before moving to the next. After around two hours they will reach the Caboose Bar, which has an extensive range of beers from across the city, all served in Stone Steins which the bartender will go to great lengths to educate you on.
  • You can stay in the bar as long as you like, but the roadshow is always moving on, so when you leave you'll be in a completely different Borough. 

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