Odd Remedies

Pills, Oils, and Vapo-Rubs are big business in Bastion.

While there's a lot of sugar and brick-dust being sold, some of those chemists are actually onto something.

These are all experimental, so you can get them for free if you're happy to have someone in goggles observe your response to the dosage, and sign a standard waver of course.

Roll d12
1: Buff Spray - Applied rectally, feels ice cold.
- Restores STR
- 50% chance to lose all of your teeth with each use.

2: Cadaver Wax - Applied to skin, smells like corpses.
- Restores DEX
- 50% chance that the smell never fades.

3: Gudgeon-Snuff - Taken nasally, leaves a yellow patch around your nose.
- Restores CHA
- 50% chance that the nose stain is permanent.

4: Amoeba Essence - Taken intravenously.
- Restores all Abilities.
- 50% chance that you become dependent with each use. While dependent you are Deprived on any given day when you haven't had a hit.

5: Jazz Butter - Must be dissolved into a hot bath and soaked in for an hour. Smells sweaty.
- You can sprint as quickly as the fastest humans for the rest of today.
- 50% chance that your feet are incredibly slippery for the rest of the day, making barefoot walking impossible.

6: Brittle Green - Spread onto the stump as a goo which hardens. Smells like bad limes.
- One lost limb will grow back slowly over a week.
- 50% chance that the limb is a gross lizard limb.

7: Reality Drops - Tiny black capsule taken orally.
- Restore a lost sense.
- 50% chance to lose another sense.

8: Blood Buddies - Small red blob of flesh, rubbed into chest.
- Gain d6 temporary HP. Use them before your own hp and once they're gone they're lost forever.
- 50% chance that your body rejects the buddy and it forms into a small angry fleshling (3hp, d6 bite).

9: Goodnight Kiss - White powder applied to forehead.
- Restore the recently dead to life for a few moments.
- 50% chance that they explode messily on their second death.

10: Satchdragon Root - Spicy piece of bark to be brewed with hot water.
- Create a cool, collected demeanor for the next hour.
- 50% chance that the hour ends with uncontrollable outbursts of swearing and truth-bombs.

11: Digger's Spritz - Fizzy drink, actually delicious.
- Instantly cure any sort of stomach illness.
- 50% chance to immediately vomit explosively.

12: Mystiquerol - Syrup taken into ear.
- Instantly cure any sort of nervous condition.
- 50% chance that you develop a foreign accent.

Small Tables

Sometimes you need to put something together for a game tonight and none of the modules on your shelf feel like the right fit. Throwing together a Route Map is relatively fast, but you're also going to want some random tables, most obviously some Encounters.

I've gone from using d20 to d6 and everything in between. My list of needs for a random encounter table is:

• Make an area feel alive and non-static.
• Project the character of an area.
• Have at least one really dangerous entry to encourage the players to keep moving. 
• Be better than something I can just make up on the fly.

I like d20s for things like Spark Tables where you want to generate a number of unique results, but for Encounter tables I'm moving closer to the following model.

Roll d6
1-3: Common. Three variations on a single encounter either carrying out different actions or varying slightly in composition.
4-5: Uncommon. Two variations of a more unusual encounter, again varying in behaviour or composition.
6: Rare. Something weird and likely dangerous. 

Now you can really dig down into making six great entries, rather than spending your whole prep time filling up a d20 table with just-okay entries.

Let's do some examples.

The Yelling Mountain: A little piece of Hell in coldest Deep Country.

Roll d6

1. 4 Coil Men (5hp, Electric Stave d8, long-chinned mask) parading their wealth boastfully (three multi-coloured gems worth £20 each, one smaller one worth £10). One is carrying a device wired up to the gems that can cause them to expode (d10 blast) at the push of a button. He'd rather die in the blast than let you steal his wealth. 
2. 10 Coil Men (as above) on the trail of somebody wealthier than you, hoping to rob them.
3. 1 Coil Man (as above, name is Julio) separated from his group and starting to doubt that a life of robbery and boasting is as rewarding as he'd hoped. 
4. Jaw-Goat (6hp, d6 Butt, Painfully Itchy Pelt, Ice Cold Horns, both effects increase after death) gathering bones for its nest. Not so interested in your bones.
5. 6 Young Jaw Goats (4hp, then as above) butting each other and trying to establish a social hierarchy. 
6. Hand of the Mountain (15hp, Armour 2, d10 Smash) Here to reclaim anything mineral for the mountain. Appears out of the Earth and returns back to it if you cross water or a canyon. 

Cutting Edge Mercenaries of Bastion

Bastion's hired guns are known for seeking the most unusual equipment of the electric epoch. Sometimes they enjoy their signature weapon a little too much.

Each of these is available for hire, £5 for a day's work where they'll do the following:

• Follow you into dangerous places.
• Generally follow orders.
• Think that their favourite gadget is the perfect solution to any problem.

Each Mercenary comes with their own specialist equipment. If this is damaged or lost they always blame their employer, immediately ceasing their service and pursuing financial compensation in Mercenary Court. 

HASTER SMUZZ
DEX 15, 10hp, Trench Armour (1), Baton (d6).
Orbalaster: Bulky, Functions as either a Crossbow (d6) or Rifle (d8) or can fire one of three specific combination rounds. He generally carries one of each.
Salt Charge: Blasts out a fluorescent salt-like powder. Anybody within the blast that is currently Wounded is overcome with pain and instantly incapacitated.
Wild Charge: Blasts out a red mist, any animals in the blast become immediately violent towards the nearest other being.
Null Charge: Blasts out an impenetrable darkness lasting a few minutes. Nothing more complex than a bow can function in the darkness.

DOVVET DERAUMA
STR 15, 10hp, Quarry Armour (1), Two Hatchets (d6 each).
Absorption Engine: Bulky. Chest mounted device that activates when she causes Critical Damage to an opponent. The victim is sucked into the jet-like hole and sprayed out as a bloody mess.
As a secondary function the engine allows very slow, careful flight and can be fed inorganic matter to spit out a d6 Blast of shrapnel.

CANS GUTTANINE
10hp, CHA 5, Two Chop-Swords (d6 each).
Spirit Bombs: Each of these contains the canned essence of some alien spirit. Cans isn't sure which one is which, so roll d6 when he throws one. Once the spirit is released it cannot be returned and does nothing besides lash out.
1: Abyss Spirit: 10hp, De-Pressurisation Touch (d10 ignore Armour, explode on Critical Damage).
2: Iceberg Spirit: 12hp, Icy Form (Armour 2), Crush (d10 to all in a line).
3: Smog Spirit: 6hp, d6 Choke to all within, Immune to physical attacks but disperses if left alone.
4: Pickling Spirit: 8hp, Acidic Splash (d6 Blast), Anything killed is preserved and delicious.
5: Heat Spirit: 12hp, Glowing Metal Body (Armour 3), Heat Ray (d8), longs to be cooled down which causes it to become peaceful.
6: Razorwire Spirit: 10hp, Metal Form (Armour 2), Lash (d6 to all adjacent), Anybody taking Critical Damage is pulled in to be kept safe.

VEX VENTOM
10hp, STR 18, Spiked Armour (1), Combat Chain (d8).
Sludge Gun: d6, Fires a glossy black semi-solid material that can be used in unusual ways.
- Can be sprayed onto a surface to make it bouncy as a trampoline.
- Can be fired into water to create floating platforms.
- Can be fired into fire to explode in a d6 blast.
- Can be bounced around corners for trick shots.
- Can be fired onto an electrified surface to animate the sludge briefly. It thrashes around for three rounds before collapsing (3hp, d6 thrash).
- Can be fired onto the chest of a sleeping person to give them horrible nightmares.
- Can be fired into Acid to neutralise it.
- Can be fired into Alcoholic liquid to make it burst into flames and develop a new complex taste.

SPITCH TINDLE
10hp, Tin Armour (1), Boot Dagger (d6).
Turbo-Cannon: Bulky, also functions as a Shield (+1 Armour). Can be fired on three different modes.
Safe: d6 Blast. A spray of small rounds.
Turbo: 2d6 Blast. Twice the normal fire rate. If the rolls match the weapon jams and is unusable until the next Rest. 
Ultra: Three 3d8 Blast. Thrice the fire rate with hot-rounds interspersed. If two dice match it jams, if all three match it explodes in a d12 blast. 

FINO BANEMANE

10hp, DEX 5, Brass Armour (1), Dagger (d6).

Trace-Rifle: d6, Bulky. Instead of normal fire, can shoot a Trace-Marker that marks the target unless they pass a DEX Save. The Trace Rifle causes d10 damage when it attacks Marked targets and annihilates them in a miniature black hole when it causes Critical Damage.  

Cageshacke's Valet-Guards

Cageshacke is an INTENSE borough of Bastion. Of course it's surrounded by an electrified cage, but some houses and boroughs also choose to have cages.

The main reasons you'd go there are to get in a fight or to hire a Valet-Guard, but before we get to them have a Spark Table for some ideas of what else is going on. 

SPARK TABLE (roll 2d20 and mash the results together)

D20		D20
1	Personal Vendettas	1	Jewelled Eggs
2	Pain Endurance Tests	2	Growth Drugs
3	Destroying Furniture	3	Excess Drinking
4	Being Buried Alive	4	Dying Young
5	Martial Arts	5	Rival Companies
6	Eating Raw Things	6	Humans vs Horses
7	Declaring a Champion	7	Censorship
8	Philosophy of Cages	8	Product Placement
9	Familial Betrayal	9	Personal Grooming
10	Barbed Wire	10	Massages
11	Angry Speeches	11	Breakfast Cereal
12	Corrupt Officials	12	Collectible Figurines
13	Animal Masks	13	Secret Identities
14	Resurrection	14	Loud Music
15	Climbing Challenge	15	Flag Waving
16	Electricity Worship	16	Humiliating Punishments
17	Cult of Personality	17	Being Thrown from Heights
18	Fire Worship	18	Fast Food
19	Celebrity Merchandise	19	Fake Black Magic
20	Blood Worship	20	Provocative Clothes

Valet Guards

These personal assistants have three very specific purposes that the fulfill all at once. If asked to do anything else they politely remind you that it isn't in their job description. 

1. Hype you up to others, even when you aren't around.
2. Help you get up or get to safety when hurt.
3. Not fight directly, but get involved in distracting your opponents, throwing things to you, or attacking opposing valet-guards.

When you try to hire one roll two d6s for your options. In case of a duplicate you've just got one choice, take it or leave it. 

1: Bercker the Shield 

50p, 3hp, STR 15, Old Flail (d6), Crude Armour and Shield (Armour 2, both Bulky), Battered Face.

• Will throw you her shield in the time of need.
• If forced to fight, hits herself with her flail every time (roll separately for her attacking herself).
• Boasts of your prowess in historical events you couldn't have possibly been alive for.

2: Silak Clothwurer

20p, 6hp, DEX 5, Hooked Staff (d8, Bulky), Grey Robes, Comically Fat. 

Prays to the Stars for favour at the worst times. 

Offers poetic guidance and put-downs for your opponents. 

Occasionally uses his hook to trip an unaware opponent. 

3: Arden Ztyle

80p, 4hp, CHA 15, Amplified Clarinet, Seemingly Endless Supply of Tiny Smoke Bombs, Animal-Print Clothes. 

Creates an entrance theme for you, played whenever you enter a room.

Utterly unable to take part in physical combat. 

Can throw a smoke bomb down to give you cover just in time. 

4: Ruff Bellows

20p, 3hp, CHA 3, Ornate Spear (d8), Horned Helmet. 

Shouts crude insults at opponents so loudly that she's hard to ignore.

Can throw her spear with pinpoint accuracy as long as it's not going to actually hit anybody. 

Says something great about you at first, but ruins it if left to talk for long.

5: The Golmot Twins

£1 for Both, 2hp, DEX 18, One Bladed-Glove Each (d6), Mirrored Clothes. 

Fling themselves acrobatically around without actually fighting. 

Can climb any surface quicker than most can run. 

If one twin dies, the other finally joins the fight with both gloves if they can (2 x d6)

6: Donk Beedle

50p, 6hp, CHA 14, Giant Drum and Beater (d6), Back Banner bearing your face.

Loudly announces your arrival, making exaggerated claims about your achievements. 

If your life is in danger, can smash with his drum for d10 damage, destroying it. 

The drum doubles as a cauldron for cooking delicious food, but refuses to let anybody but you eat it. 

Two Electric Bastiards and The Underground

The text of Electric Bastionland is very nearly completed, after which it goes out of my hands and things like artwork and layout can start happening. We're a way off from release yet, but here are a few more sneaky previews.

A couple of Failed Careers, and two pages from the Underground section. Note that the Human Flotsam background is the sort of thing you get if you roll exceptionally well on your Ability Scores.

Alien Dojos

There's a bit of a fad in Bastion for Alien Martial Arts. You give it a cosmic sounding name, claim you learned it under a foreign star, or get a visiting Alien to play along, and rake in the money from your students.

I'm here to tell you their techniques are real, and you can learn them.

If you go to one lesson you're an Initiate. This costs 2p each week, and you have to keep going every week or you lose the technique.

After each session roll 2d6. If this is less than the number of sessions you've attended then you graduate to Student and get a better version of your technique. Now it costs you 10p a week and you still have to keep going or else you lose it.

Once you're a Student you can challenge the Master to a contest. If you beat them, you become Master, but if you lose you're expelled forever and the techniques are blasted from your mind. There can only ever be one Master. Now you get to claim the payments from your students and initiates!

Oh and they all use some stupid meta-gamey gimmick, so use these only if you want your game to get real stupid.

Kaffee-Beetle Kombat
Initiate: When you fight with a pair of Bugchuks (d6 each) you throw them one after the other. You can reroll the second die as many times as you are able to before the first die stops moving.

Student: As above but when your first die stops moving the Referee must reroll it, giving you more time to reroll the first die. 

Master: As above but you can throw the first die anywhere you like, even off the table.

Mor-Dur-Murder Style
Initiate: When you attack with a weird alien throwing knife (d6), place a d8 in the centre of the table showing 1. Throw, trying to knock the d8 to a higher number. If the d8 remains at 1, treat that as your roll, otherwise take the highest value between the two dice.
Student: As above but replace the d8 with two stacked d8s showing 1.
Master: As above but replace the top d8 with a d12 showing 1.

Bafistan Fist Fighting
Initiate: Roll d6 for each fist you attack with by throwing them into the air and punching them. If either rolls off the table, or you fail to punch either of them, count your roll as 1.
Student: As above, but add as many d6 as you dare.
Master: As above, but combine any 6s you roll, to a maximum of 12 damage.

Five Way Stick
Initiate: When fighting with a Martial Stick (d6, Bulky) stack 5d6 in front of you and try to flick the top die from the stack. If any other than the top tie fall, fail and treat the roll as 1. Continue down the stack until you fail or choose to stop.
Student: As above but replace the bottom die with a d12. 
Master: As above but, from build your stack of five dice using any dice you like, up to d12.

Rhythm of the Starbusta
Initiate: Put some music on. Something with an obvious rhythm. Count along with the beat, most typically counting to 3 or 4. When you fight with a Meteor Hammer (d6), throw your die at something that will make an obvious noise (sturdy glass, gong). If you strike the object on the final count of the bar you're fine, otherwise you miss. 
Student: As above, but if you succeed then double the value on the die.
Master: As above but if you succeed you can throw another d6, continuing until you either fail or decide not to throw. You must decide this before the end of the next bar. You only keep the result of the last die you threw.

Electric Modernity (and Spark Tables)

Bastion has been modern for a long time. This is the next step.

If you can think of something from the modern world, it's here, but in an old fashioned style. Slow, expensive, but extravagant cars. Rudimentary computers usually built for one specific task with clunky, room-sized hardware. Amplified instruments blasting out youth music.

The rule of thumb is "Early 20th Century" but remember this isn't alternate history. Bastion isn't London or Tokyo or New York, but you can pull whatever you like from any city on Earth, leaving behind the unwanted bits. If you want 1940s culture, you don't have to include the Second World War. It doesn't matter if cavalry became obsolete in our world, you can put them in there alongside the flamethrowers and mortars.

Politics, Religion, and Philosophy are three sides of a whole. People clothe their agendas and ideals in whichever of the three best suits them. Faith is less about the subject of your worship, more about what you do in their name.

Everything is shared. Nobody can run all of Bastion, so everything gets split up. Councils have overlapping authorities, there are public services for everything, and taxes are inevitable. If there's a problem, at least two people have tried to solve it. Less organised socialism, more a web of entangled responsibilities and authorities that nobody knows how to unravel.

One of the key ways I'm presenting the setting in Electric Bastionland is through Spark Tables.

You roll 2d20, taking the two results and smashing them together for inspiration.

d20	Spark One	Spark Two
1	Pastry	Society
2	High-Rise	Factory
3	Smoked	Art
4	Bombed	Canal
5	Fat	Tourism
6	Luxury	Lizard
7	Wild	Graveyard
8	Broken	Council
9	Prototype	Slum
10	Artisan	Music
11	Paper	Distillery
12	Murder	Youth
13	Electric	Office
14	Glass	University
15	Dirty	Museum
16	Repurposed	Crowd
17	Disputed	Debt
18	Burnt	Chimney
19	Overgrown	Heap
20	Loud	Tonic

This is a general Spark Table for Bastion, so you could use the results as the foundation for a place, person, event, or object.

Let's give it a go.

PLACE: Rolled 11 and 16 - Paper Crowd

The Bill-Nest

Atop rickety scaffolding, crowds of desperate people bring paper invoices, arrears, and debt ledgers, pinning them into the ever growing birdnest-like structure. 

Urban myth claims that vengeful birds will see these and descend to murder cruel debt-chasers. This rarely happens, but more often the gathered mob decide to take matters into their own hands.

PERSON: Rolled 4 and 12 - Bombed Youth

Ram Totem - Radical Noise Poet

Wiry, tall-haired young man with cheap metal prosthetic leg and arm down his left side. Lost both limbs in a revolution, and now spits the controversial view of suggesting we all just accept things the way they are. Yells his muddled poetry in youth hotspots, usually getting heckled in return.

EVENT: Rolled 6 and 15 - Luxury Museum

The Common Man's Museum of Bastion (Informally The COMMMB)

Formerly a respectful memorial to the working class of Bastion, recently bought out by a conglomerate of wealthy factory owners. 

Now depicts workers as lazy morons, but provides visitors with luxury facilities (including an especially good bar). As a result, it is currently under constant assault from protesters.