Who's Staying in the Scarlet Flotella?

All aboard the grandest megaship-come-hotel ever to cruise the rivers of Bastion. There's really no better place to stay, from its Pamper Suites (10g for a night you'll never forget) right down to its Economy Deck (1s a night you'll never forget).

Roll d20 to see who you bump into, and what they're doing.

1-3: The Scrubbers (STR 4, 2hp, Worn wooden limbs, indecypherable squeaks).
Want to live a lazy life with some fun on the side.
1: Drawing googly eyes on a painting of Petal Lowe in one of the gallery alcoves.
2: Running from Peachy the Lizard, who's chasing them without any reason.
3: Sleeping on the job.





4-6: Totum and Perude (4 and 5hp, Axes, Hammers and any tool you can think of, frustratingly inarticulate and constantly interrupting each other)
Want to keep the ship in working order, despite knowing that it's doomed to sink.
4: Headed to reception to report a fire in the rooftop garden.
5: Bumbling around a steam-filled corridor to try and patch the leak.
6: Chasing the Scrubbers, who have gone AWOL.













7-9: Peachy the Lizard (STR 6, WIL 3, 6hp, Bite d6)
Wants to eat the Scrubbers and escape her life as Angreene's pet.
7: Munching happily on a dead rat.
8: Hiding from Angreene, who's calling her in the distance. Also dressed up in a tiny pink dress.
9: Sniffing in search of the Scrubbers.






10-11: Angreene (STR 6, DEX 17, WIL 15, 10hp, imitation fineries and fancy vocabulary)
Wants to stow away in the more luxurious sections of the hotel and avoid her massive bill (39g) that she has no means of paying.
10: Hiding from Toddie Pettum, who is chasing payment of her bill.
11: Throwing Peachy the Lizard down the length of a corridor before dragging him back on a piece of string.













12-13: Petal Lowe (STR 11, DEX 7, WIL 15, 4hp, Pistol d6, supply of any drug, poison, or illegal substance you can think of, illusion of subservience)
Wants to keep her business running smoothly and keep Toddie Pettum in the dark.
12: Guiding a new arrival to their room, ensuring them that any service at all can be made available.
13: Violently pistol-whipping a bell-boy for stealing from a guest.











14-15: Toddie Pettum (STR 8, DEX 8, WIL 9, 7hp, Cans of Moustache and Hair Wax, constant sweat)
Wants to keep the ship afloat at any cost, and attract a higher class of visitor.
14: On the edge of a breakdown and smoking furiously out of a window, panicking about Angreene's unpaid bill.
15: Pleading with stage-staff to make sure that both acts (see below) are kept apart for the duration of their stay.














16-17: Hottie Noise (STR 15, DEX 10, WIL 9, 8hp, Riding Crop d6, a carefully prepared outburst for even the slightest inconvenience, booming baritone)
Wants to shock people, and see Chanteuse Against Tyranny disgraced and humiliated.
16: Complaining to Toddie Pettum about the state of his quarters in comparison to those of Chanteuse.
17: Plastering one of his posters over that of Chanteuse.











18-19: Chanteuse Against Tyranny (STR 7, DEX 14, WIL 17, 3hp, Outfits that make everything impractical, screeching falsetto)
Wants to be remembered as the most avant-garde entertainer in her time, and see Hottie Noise disgraced and humiliated.
18: Trapped by her outfit caught on a loose nail and calling for help.
19: Carefully being hoisted into a new, larger outfit by a team of engineers.














20: Bubelle Wintzer (STR 5, DEX 8, WIL 8, 3hp, funeral shroud, perfectly made-up)
Wants to live out what she thinks are her last days (from a lying doctor) in the highest luxury.  
20: Is always being followed by Toddie Pettum, who is draining her for every last penny in return for his personal service.











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Two Failed Cities

It's telling that Bastion has railways, but nobody really uses it for long-distance passenger travel. Who'd want to go to the Failed Cities anyway?

Grand Duchessy of Harfluff




d12 Harfluff Encounters
1-4: d12 Feckless Peasants (WIL 6, 2hp, Rags and Rocks). Want to avoid the wrath of the Grand Duchess.
1: Yelling questions into a well. There is a holographic remnent of Moth-Man-Like being trapped inside, but the peasant's wishes are so mundane that he's been hiding from them for the last few months.
2: Shoddily attempting a song and dance number in the square about the pleasures of simple peasant life, but everyone is out of sync with each other, and people keep falling over.
3: Hunting the Mock Fox through alleyways, claiming whoever catches him will get a reward from the Grand Duchess.
4: Working together to create a gigantic fruit cobbler to donate to the Grand Duchess. It's all going wrong.

5-7: d6 Nobles (STR 14, 8hp, polished swords d8, inordinately fancy clothes and makeup bordering on mime-like). Want to make sure nobody works out they have no noble claim at all.
5: Riding through the streets yelling "ALL HAIL THE GRAND DUCHESS" without any real purpose.
6: Handing out invitations to the Grand Ball, and going to great lengths to ensure that all peasants know that they aren't invited.
7: Gathering peasants to give them extremely specific details about a new shipment of impossible clothes that they require (transparent dresses, mirror-hats, weightless sashes etc).

8-10: Keeshum, Mock Fox (STR 6, DEX 16, 9hp, Crossbow d8, Huntsman's Clothes, Shpeesh Impeshiment, 1g bounty on his head from the Duchess, Felt Fur and Googly Eyes). Wants to be accepted into the community despite everyone hating him.
8: Trying to confuse a big dumb peasant into letting him free, rather than claiming the bounty.
9: Hunting rats and cats in the gutter.
10: Naked and trying unsuccessfully to pass as a real fox so he can watch the peasants safely.

11-12: The Grand Duchess (STR 15, 12hp, Executioners Axe d8, Christmas-tree-like ballgown, gravelly voice) and her Regal Guard (4hp, Twisty Halberds d8, Gigantic Green Hat-Feathers). Wants to be adored and respected.
11: Lining up unruly peasants for beheading.
12: Hanging decorations in the streets for the weekly celebration of Noble Life.

Ashcan (Formerly the Republic of Wolvendergradia)

d12 Ashcan Encounters
1-4: New Mind Movement Troop (detachment, 8hp, Musket d8, shaved head and beards, red uniforms covered in dust). Want to return Ashcan to peace under the rule of the Mechanical Mind, a machine (WIL 20, 10hp, treat as a Structure, wants to keep the war going as punishment to mankind) locked deep in a vault.
1: Collecting scraps of machinery to take back to the Mechanical Mind.
2: Painting a giant mural of the Mechanical Mind titled "DEATH TO WRECKER MEN".
3: Burying Wrecker Union Warriors in a mass grave.
4: Listening to a stirring speech from the Mechanical Mind's Anointed Speaker, who has a crackling megaphone in place of her mouth. The speech promises that the Mind has nearly calculated the perfect strategy to restore the city to peace, but until then the Wrecker Union must be wiped out.

5-7: d12 Wrecker Union Warriors (5hp, Musket d8, Hatchet d6, Hand-Bomb d10, Bushy Moustaches, grey boiler-suits)
Want to turn Ashcan to dust so that it can be rebuilt fresh, and destory the New Mind Movement.
5: About to detonate a bunker where a few surrendering members of the New Mind Movement are hiding.
6: Fruitlessly throwing bombs into a ruined tower in order to drive out Murderdust (who isn't there).
7: Marching towards the suspected location of the Mechanical Mind in order to blow it up.

8-10: d4 Gunner-Elephants (STR 19, DEX 3, WIL 3, 10hp, Armour 2, Trample d10, Mounted Cannon d12, requires crew to fire)
8: Aimlessly rampaging without their crew.
9: Controlled by a crew from the New Mind Movement and heading to besiege the Wrecker-Union's headquarters.
10: Peacefully washing in a mostly dry river, as a crew from the Wrecker Union stalk them in preparation to take control.

11-12: Murderdust (STR 14, DEX 16, WIL 10, 13hp, Dust Cannon d8 and creates cloud of dust, straight sword d6, grey full body armour (1) made from impossibly light metal, lots of bombs, dramatic whisper). Wants to carry out guerrilla warfare on both the Wrecker Union and the New Mind Movement so that the city can find peace again.
11: Stalking an officer of the New Mind Movement in preparation for assassination.
12: Sneaking bombs into a tunnel that leads underneath the Wrecker Union headquarters.

Design Note
I had a short paragraph of description for each of these cities, that I decided to delete. Instead, I've tried to ensure that all of the content in those paragraphs is somehow projected through the encounter tables.

This post has been funded by my generous Patrons. Follow the link to see what you can do to support more Soogagames material.

So You're Behind Bars

Sooner or later you're going to upset someone important in Bastion and get hauled into a jail.

Roll d6 to find out who's running this place.

1. Dira Deff
STR 15, DEX 15, WIL 11, 12hp.
Maiming Sword (d8), Countless Medals.
Wants to scare his prisoners straight by making a few horrific examples, and get some spare time to finish his fantasy novel.

Limb-Taker Enforcers (4hp, Maiming Sword d8, plain uniforms with no medals)

2. Lady Panada
STR 7, DEX 5, WIL 10, 10hp.
Painfully boring clothes.
Wants to discover the limits of mechanical augmentation that the human brain can survive, through experiments on prisoners.

Augmented Watchmen (WIL 5, 3hp, club (d6), drooling mouth, heightened senses)

3. Cornine Aggara
STR 10, DEX 13, WIL 10, 4hp.
Decorative Pistols (d8).
Wants to create a disciplined penal legion to attack her Uncle's prison, which has stolen wealthy investors from her.

Rehabilitated Penal Guard (7hp, Musket d8, self-hatred)

4. Nod Lacerash
STR 5, DEX 5, WIL 17, 12hp.
Walking Stick (d6), Acid Spray (d10, requires a short rest to re-fill his gland).
Wants his true nature as a shapeshifting star-man to remain secret while he seeks out the worst of human behaviour to observe.

Clueless Guards (Hook-Halberd d8, Floppy Cap)

5. Carlish Flur
STR 9, DEX 11, WIL 12, 5hp.
Twisted Sword (d8), Under-Robe Armour (1).
Wants to negotiate early releases with criminals that can extend his influence on the outside.

Observant Guards (4hp, Mace d6, Shield Armour 1)
Canned Food Factory (d10g Income)

6. Iron-Angel
STR 14, DEX 9, WIL 8, 14hp.
Heavy Rod (d8), Lizard Armour (1), Barded Steed, Crazed Bellow.
Wants to terrorise the prisoners into submission through constant physical and verbal assaults, and please the Star-Lizards he anticipates a visit from soon (they aren't coming).

Lizard Guards (5hp, Spiked Clubs d6, Lizard Armour 1)









Roll d6 to find your cell-mate. Everyone has a shiv (d6) hidden somewhere and minor items for bartering.

1. Vera Nuklbludd
STR 13, DEX 9, WIL 9, 12hp.
Wants to return to a life of luxury and see lower-classes put back beneath her.
Charged with instigating a revolution against the poor, attempting to blow-up a workhouse, and poisoning an orphanage.

2. Blackballs
STR 10, DEX 15, WIL 10, 10hp.
Wants to escape to see the city he hasn't seen since childhood.
Charged with petty childhood insolence. Sentence extended indefinitely for insult against the Governor.

3. Mr Vengerwick
STR 9, DEX 16, WIL 15, 9hp.
Wants to let out his bitterness by tricking stupider inmates into extending their sentences, while he manipulates the system to shorten his.
Charged with attempted robbery of the Grand Industrial Bank, his accomplices escaped with a fortune.











4. Wrong-Un
STR 16, DEX 16, WIL 4, 13hp, Cannibal Jaws (d8).
Wants to lure people close with a gentle-giant act, recanting poetry, before killing and eating them.
Charged with irreconcilable savagery.














5. Clestine McVinter

STR 6, DEX 6, WIL 8, 7hp.
Wants to use her Dreamwheel to improve the life of the other prisoners and subtly work against the Governor.
Charged with refusal to surrender a device of interest to a University professor.

Dreamwheel: A spinning wheel that only exists in Clestine's dreams, but objects she creates with it appear somewhere in the jail. Can be used to create almost anything she likes, but there's no guarantee where it will appear.







6. Lilly-Ash
STR 10, DEX 9, WIL 9, 3hp.
Wants to reconnect with her husband, who hasn't visited in years and has never forgiven her. Failing that, wants to drown herself as penance.
Charged with drowning her two daughters.












Roll another d6, on 1-2 their charge is correct, on 3-4 they're more innocent, on 5-6 they're even more guilty.

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Massiff Country

Bastion is Big, but Deep Country just goes on and on forever.

Head out in the right direction, keep going past the end of the canals, rails, and roads, and you'll reach Massiff Country. Here, everything is big, and everything is old. 

Massiff Country Encounters (roll d20, which will give you an encounter, and what they're doing) 

1-4: d12 Big Twisted Old Men - STR 15, 10hp, Long-Guns (d8), Long-Scarves, Woolen Hats. Want to gather for their Family Hall, and exaggerate stories about the big old things they've seen.
1: Shooting for fish in a huge lake. Have already caught one fish the size of a wagon.
2: Burning down a wood, claiming it's encroaching on an older wood.
3: Frying up a gigantic mushroom for lunch while taking turns to wrestle naked.
4: Picking prickly plants that go into a highly alcoholic Brew. One of the men has been poisoned through careless picking and has to be killed out of kindness.

5-8: d6 Muscled, Leathery Old Women - STR 15, 10hp, Blunt Swords (d6), Shield Armour (1), Impossibly Long, Plaited Hair. Want to keep watch on the lands, and fix even the most minor perceived damage to walls, fences, fields and hedgerows.
5: Building a dry-stone wall ten feet high to keep out the women from the neighbouring Family Hall, who interfere with their lands.
6: Digging a new pond to replace the old one that blew away in a storm.
7: Re-planting Tombstones that were eaten by wolves.
8: Moving a forest, one tree at a time, to give a valley better shelter against cold northern winds/

9-11: Blind Grey Idiot - Samwail Wassilsmitt - STR 14, 8hp, Whacking Pole (d8), Bucket-Helm, Short Temper. Wants to move to Big Town, closer to Bastion, but hugely offended at any suggestion he wants to move to Bastion itself. Leads his 3 Big-Hounds - STR 16, Slobber-bite (d8), Matted Fur Armour (1), Echoing Bark.
9: Covered in flour and pretending to be a ghost, demanding treasures so that he can be at peace. Dogs are hiding nearby but are bad at staying quiet.
10: Putting up fake signposts so that travelers get lost, while selling poorly made maps.
11: Dragging a wheel-less wagon with help from his dogs. Thinks it'll make him his fortune in Big Town.

12-15: Big Menace, Towering Plate-Armoured Riders - Detachment. STR 15, 10hp, Riveted Copper Armour (2), Blunt Lances (d8), Barrels of Liquor. Want to sing Saga-Songs, and find any excuse for a drink.
12: Charging towards a tower on the horizon. If stopped, they'll explain that it takes several days to reach a Massiff Horizon, and they're reporting back to the head of their order that all is well.
13: Already drunk and larking about, falling off their horses, and punching eachother.
14: Practicing their charge against a huge monolith. If any one of them falters in their charge they're banished from their order. Getting drunk helps.
15: Topless in a circle as they initiate a new member by playing dodgeball with empty barrels. Winning doesn't seem to matter as much as survival.

16-18: Mock Grunter-Tree - STR 18, DEX 3, WIL 13, 20hp, Creaking Bark Armour (2), Stiff Branches (d10), Low Self-Esteem, Wants to find companionship, but feel smarter than everyone,
16: Very slowly shambling from one tree to another, ripping them up and yelling out of boredom.
17: Yelling brooding poetry from a hilltop.
18: Yelling out a challenge for a battle of wits, with treasure for the winner. Doesn't actually have any treasure will never admit defeat.

19-20: Mock Bullock - STR 18, DEX 5, WIL 6, 8hp, Itchy Fur Armour (1), Wooden Horns (d8), Tiny Spectacles. Wants to find amusement in scaring normal cattle, and encourage people to eat beef.
19: Hurling abuse at a herd of long-horned cattle, telling them in detail how they'll be slaughtered and eaten. An infuriated old cowherd is throwing rocks to try and drive him away.
20: Ripping up the roots of a tree and collecting them in a big cauldron. Seems highly amused at how he's going to force stupid cattle to eat these poisonous roots and they'll fall for it every time.

Where's My Next Meal Coming From?

Someone recently asked me how Bastion would feed itself, being a city of millions with only a backwards Deep Country and a few Failed Cities as potential trading partners.

It's easy! Again, look no further than the three principles of Bastion (Everything is Here, Everything is Complicated, Nobody Knows Who's in Charge). If you can think of an idea for feeding the city, somebody is doing it, and they have a dozen rivals with different approaches. By the time the food has come from source, gone through processing, been packed into a tin, and cooked up on a stove, the average citizen may not have a clue where it originally came from.

So if you're in doubt, roll d12 and ask Where is the next meal coming from?

1: Mass-Curry cooked up in an old industrial vat. Indistinguishable contents.
2: A vault of cans sealed underground in case of a city-wide famine. Somebody broke in and is selling it off cheap.
3: Massive cattle shipped in from the desolate fields of Deep Country. Tough but plentiful meat.
4: Surplus Gruel from a dwindling orphanage.
5: Soup Taps. An attempt at creating a new utility for every house, Produces a salty, metallic broth with occasional chunks.
6: Catch of the Day. Massive fish, crab, and octopus haul at the docks today, so everybody has taken something home.
7: Blubber Cheese. When a whale is dragged into dock, the first customers get the chance to stash some away until it matures into a crusty, pungent delicacy.
8: Pie Factory. Mass produced tin-pies, undisclosed filling.
9: Urban Foraging. Mushrooms, vermin, bugs, and herbs all pulled from the gutters.
10: Grain Shipment. Failed Cities sometimes offer food to Bastion as a sort of "Don't Invade Us" tax.
11: Allotment Vegetables. Even if you don't own an allotment, it's easy to buy or steal some prize cabbage and turnips.
12: Spotted Loaf. Rough dark bread scattered with raisins and given out to the most needy. The middle is always soggy and is often pulled out and thrown by children as a prank.

d10 Generals of Bastion, and their Armies

When Bastion needs an army, at least two Generals will rally to the call. Make a WIL Save for each to see if they can resist the passive-aggressive put-downs of their supposed allies, otherwise a battle breaks out between forces before the enemy is even near.

1: Len Python - STR 16, 13hp, Flanged Mace (d8), Green Plate (1), Endless Black Beard. Wants somebody to invade Bastion so that he can defend it and earn glory.
The War Machine
3 Axe Blocks - 8hp, Pole Axe (d8), Snake Banners, Tin Whistles
2 Musket Blocks - 7hp, Musket (d8), Side-Axe (d6), Snake-Fang Helmets, Bagpipes.
Heavy Auxiliary - 6hp, Heavy Cannons (d12), Drums.

2: Arch-Bombardier Moyall - WIL 14, 17hp, Elephant Gun (d10), Perfect Sabre (d8), Deafening Voice. Wants her force to be feared so that she can sell her specially crafted cannons for a fortune.
Disaster Brigade
Foot Guard - 8hp, Sword (d6), Mirror-Shield Armour (1).
3 Light Thunder Batteries - 4hp, Two-Man Cannons (d10).
2 Heavy Thunder Batteries - 6hp, Main Cannons (d12), Ear-Protectors.

3: General Hinkle Orphanizer - DEX 4, 18hp, Matched Pistols (d8), Straight Sword (d6), Wants to murder people for a living and occasionally return to his quiet family life.
2nd All-Murder Regiment
4 Murder Crews - 6hp, Pistol (d6), Sword (d6), inhuman joy in killing.

4: Corporal Tramor Skin-Burner - STR 15, 13hp, Skinning-Sword (d6), Scatter-Gun (d8), Fire Bombs, Grotesque flaying details on Breastplate (1). Wants it all to be over so that she doesn't have to skin anyone else again.
The Skin-Burners
First Honoured Skinners - 12hp, Skinning Sword (d6), Skin-Banner, Thousand-Yard Stare.
3 Stalker Squads - 4hp, Pistol Brace (d8), Skinning Dagger (d6), Unsettlingly Young.

5: Bastion People's Legion - A Leaderless horde of disorganized mobs.
10 Chaotic Mobs - STR 8, 3hp, Assorted Guns and Arms (d8).

6: Top-Charger Whittle - WIL 18, 15hp. Heavy Pistol (d8), Horseman's Axe (d8), White Chest-Plate (1) and Thoroughbred Black Steed, flowing blonde hair adorned with silver pins. Wants to experience the glory of the hunt, but terrified of meeting anyone that will put up an even fight with her.
Ceaseless Horse Division
2 Heavy Horse - 7hp, Armour 2, Horse-Carbine (d8), Sabre (d6), Spectacular Peaked Hats.
3 Foot Musketeers - 5hp, Musket (d8), Bayonet (d6), Demeaning Floppy Hats.

7: Uriah Groll - WIL 14, 17hp, Musket (d8), Bayonet (d6), Boilerplate Armour (1), Back-Banner. Wants to prove that his Deep Country men can fight alongside Bastion's forces.
5th Deep Country Conscript Battalion
Country Gunners - 4hp, Assorted Guns (d8), Beating Sticks (d6).
2 Country Footmen - 4hp, Polearms (d8), Patchwork Banner
2 Country Militia - 3hp, Farming Tools (d6), Drums and Horns.

8: Professor Auder - WIL 14, 13hp. Military Baton (d6), Full Polished Plate (1), Binoculars, Stack of strategy manuals. Wants to create the perfect force and perfect her understanding of Strategy.
New First Class Military
2 Frontline Anvils - 4hp, Pike (d8), Breastplate and Helm (1), Black Uniform, Droning Horn.
2 Hammer Horse - 5hp, Horse, Cavalry Sabre (d6), Grey Uniform with Silver Detail.
3 Premier Gunline - 6hp, Musket (d8), Bayonet (d6), Black Uniform with Silver Detail.
Auxilliary Gunline - 4hp, Heavy Line-Guns (d10), Grey Uniform.
Support Gunline - 3hp, Light Cannons (d10), Signal Whistle., White Uniform with Silver Details
2 Dragoon Reserve - 7hp, Horse, Cavalry Sabre (d8), Musket (d8), Red Uniforms, Crested Helm.
Personal Guard - 4hp, Musket (d8), Bayonet (d6), White Uniform with Copper Detail.

9: First-Sword Lenzo - STR 17, 15hp. Darkened Steel Claymore (d8), Ancient Blue-Knight's Plate (1), Concealed Pistol (d6), heavily scarred face behind white veil, Wants to conscript even more troops to create the largest force in history, finally leading an attack on Bastion for herself.
The Uncounted
10 Forward Blocks - 3hp, Poleaxe (d8), Chained in Formation.
6 Support Blocks - 5hp, Musket (d8), Bayonet (d6), Manacles for Conscription.
4 Reserve Blocks - 8hp, Musket (d8), Whips.

10: Unbreakable Karloon - WIL 18, 17hp, Hacking Sword (d8), Bull-Steed (STR 18, 12hp, d10 Gore) Wants to being civility to the battlefield, and will strike anyone he sees orchestrating their forces in an immoral manner.
Green-Line Enforcers
2 Heavy Charger Teams - STR 13, 9hp, Horseman's Hammer (d8), Armoured Horse (2).
2 Heavy Gunners - 7hp, Extra-Loud Musket (d8), Clunky Plate Armour (1).