Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Every Land has a Bastion

A letter sent to the Exiled Voices magazine by the creature formerly known as Miles Worriffer, printed shortly after his execution by cannon battery.

Esteemed Minds and Travellers,

I've heard many claim that they've been to other worlds. Some found them in old stories, others through sensory experimentation. Some think it's just a matter of sailing into the Ocean for long enough.

But in fact we are all just doing the same thing: Acknowledging that these other lands exist. 
Now we are faced with the truth that our real connection to them lies below our very city, in the Underground.

We know that our city spans heights and breadths unseen in the history of humanity, but I have discovered that it stretches in hidden directions and flourishes into other lands as it does on ours. Every land has a Bastion, but different to our own. Beyond the span of these cities the realms are alien even to the explorer's eye. 

I declare these three immutable principles as Worriffer's Three Laws of Far-Reality. 
- Every land has a Bastion of its own.
- Our Bastion is the true city, and connects to all others. 
- You can only cross a threshold with the approval of a native on each side. 

I present to you a definitive documentation of the far lands discovered by my team, on the eve of our journey to the eighth, our first full-scale expedition. 

The First - Scrapheap

Although I had glimpsed into other worlds in my preliminary explorations, this was the first I knowingly crossed into. A hand of living silver beckoned me from the remains of a broken mirror. I took her hand and was pulled with enough force to dislocate my shoulder. 

My pain was doubled as I fell into a heap of rusted iron, razor sharp wire, and a metallic dust that immediately agitated my lungs. I was held in the embrace of my captor, a featureless mannequin of cold lead, moving only to turn my head to face hers, occasionally whispering pleasantries intended to reassure me that I was safe.

Hailstorms of gravel fell on us each night, her body shielding mine from its impact. The days were pleasingly warm, but the cold nights and bed of scrap iron left me in constant agony. 

After a month of sleepless terror, my captor sprung to her feet and in my haze I watched her set upon by a dozen figures made of metal scraps, booming cannons blowing her metal body into shards like a tree under lightning. I raised my hands in surrender to them and was dragged to my feet, a visored helm roughly covered my head. 

I was forcibly marched across uneven ground, never growing softer or warmer beneath my feet. Then light, as the visor was lifted. I was on a wall, or the top of a sheer cliff. In front of me an endless sea of shrapnel. Behind me, the city. A grey maze of barbs, spikes, orange dust, the occasional golden spire. 





An armoured figure approached, a colossal silver mace dragging at his side. Before I could protest, the weapon was swung at me. I felt no blow, but was thrown backwards, first into blackness, then the light of our Sun. I was in a filthy puddle in some back-alley of Bastion, and never did it feel so sweet. 

The Second - Fester

After my month in the metal hell, I took on a mercenary band of four brothers for my next expedition. They were pleased to be kept ignorant of the details of their destination. 

For this journey I had arranged access to a machine designed for medical use, to halt the spread of disease and render the patient in a peaceful sleep. Clearly this device had been heavily modified and its creator ushered us into a chemical-smelling chamber before throwing a lever and bathing the five of us in scalding steam. I heard a voice, "Come in Child. Let me feed you" and in the interest of our expedition I accepted. 



The steam became a green fog, and we marched forward, my mercenaries holding their nerve. From the mist we arrived in a city of entwined trees, a pavement of rotting leaves, and oozing fruits of every colour clinging to all surfaces. But this was no forest. I could make out distinct structures, roads, and alleyways. A city of trees, more rotten the longer I looked at it.

A small one-eyed wretch approached our group, his voice the one I heard in the chamber. 

"Ah, you are our children. Come over and in."

His voice was deep and booming for such a mite. 

"Take this for your journey Child" as he stroked the back of his hand against the back of one of the mercenaries. 

The others could only watch as their poor brother began to swell. Blood oozing from his skin before collapsing in a red mess. They turned their guns on the small man, and I felt a shaking. 

The ground below us began to tear like dry skin. We were plunged into the darkness, fleshy tunnels echoing with cries of agony. We hear that deep voice behind us again.

"Take it back with you Children"

And we were back in the steam chamber, just four of us now, but all altered.

Two of the brothers fell choking to the ground, dead in minutes. The remainder was covered in a yellow rash, but turned his anger on me, going for me with his sabre. He must have pitied me as I fainted, leaving me to awake in a pool of my own vomit and excrement hours later. The sickness was like nothing I knew of, a constant temperature high enough to leave scorch marks on my bedsheets. No doctor would see me, and I felt the constant grip of death around my throat. 

But no man of Bastion would allow an otherworldly plague to keep the light from the darkness. Upon my recovery I set about organising my third journey. 

The Third - Communion

I was guided here under the escort of a brotherhood of monks. The Yellow Doves were a peaceful sect obsessed with bringing peace to Bastion. A noble goal that was doomed on this day. 

For this journey I was blindfolded, despite every insistence that I must witness the threshold. Despite my protests, I was led quietly into their chapel, and I sense to somewhere in their lower cellars. I felt a cool breeze, heard a conversation in some incomprehensible tongue, and my veil was lifted. 

This city much more closely resembled Bastion, as it might be described from the time before machinery and industry and modernity. White marble, wooden temples, and the smell of flowers. 

The monks were talking with a glowing white figure, polished armour and longspear, a horse-sized reptilian beast at her side. I took my chance to slip away and explore. 

From a lighthouse I was able to get a good view of the city, spanning almost as large as our Bastion. Beyond that an ocean dotted with fortified islands. I could see flying creatures in the sky, more beast than bird. 

I headed back to the monks to see them kneeling in a line, their hands bound behind their backs. I watched as the light-lady's spear was thrust through each chest, one at a time. They showed no attempt to break free. As each monk fell dead, her lizardine companion began to swallow them whole. Looking down onto the populace of the city I could now see each glowing being was followed by another unnatural beast. Some resembling black lions, other red-dripping hounds, some utterly alien and far from any creature of even the Golden Lands. The creatures were following as a hound, but I could hear some talking in a manner which I could not interpret. 

For two nights I was lost in the city, hiding from the citizens and their beasts. Here I witnessed more ritual feeding of their beasts, which they tended to as pets, but in a more worshipful mannerism. I even witnessed one such creature twist and rend itself in two, sprouting a new larger form before striking down its master in rage. 

The thing, some blue panther's body with an insectoid head turned on me and raised a paw. I fell to my knees involuntarily and felt words leave my mouth, no understanding of what I was saying. When I opened my eyes I was back in Bastion. 

The Fourth - Nebula

A leap of faith into a disused access shaft to the Underground launched me to speeds never felt on a human's body. Before I could take a second breath I was shot into a sea of colour and stars.



Much of this matter was collected in a cloud-like island, and as I willed myself toward it I felt total mastery over my flight. Looking at my hands I could see that I glowed like a bioluminescent being. No need for breath, no cold, no hunger. 

Approaching the cloud I could make out structures. The whole thing was a city. 

A marvel like nothing I could have imagined. An entire city of the stuff of barely glimpsed space. The few beings I encountered moved in dimensions I could only see in shadow. They exchanged psychic messages with me, asking very practical questions about my origin and intent. Once I announced myself as an explorer they seemed to have no interest in me. 

Their manner is utterly alien. Apparently devoid of desire beyond crafting ever more elaborate architecture with their bare hands. Sadly my journey was cut short by a sudden plunge into pitch-black water back in Bastion. I note that there must be a more permanent way to visit this wondrous place. 

The Fifth - Conquest 

This threshold was found in the depths of a sunken warship, in some dried out subterranean dock. Filthy masked heads on spindly bodies peered through the porthole at me, beckoning me to open the hatch. Upon doing so I was hauled through a network of pipes and up onto the deck of a vaster ship than has ever existed. 



They guided me around the Conquest, both city and ship on a raging white sea. As I arrived, guns dwarfing those of out city were blasting a mountain, which was gradually crumbling under the fire. My escorts urged me to witness the power of their city, and explained that their mission was the eradication of all existence. I attempted philosophical debate concerning the nature of all existence, and was soon forcibly led back to our arrival-tunnel. A short crawl later I was back on the humble warship of my contact, and home to Bastion. 

The Sixth - The Blaze

Many academics praise the powers of hallucinogens in reaching other realities, but I find them a cloud. A window into a false realm, rather than insight into the truth. 

Upon completing a complex ritual of chants and painted markings, I felt as if I had taken every mind-stimulant known to man in one baffling cocktail. We were led down a short few stairs, a white corridor, and then I was there. 



Most of all I remember colour, and the feeling. Everything was utterly saturated, and the people themselves appear as a splash of dye. I couldn't make out any detail on their faces, but recognised them as human all the same. They roared like animals. The colours washed over this city as the smoke does in Bastion, and a pounding, primal music filled my ears. 

I was led to a square, my eyes starting to hurt as if I had stared at the sun too long. I closed my eyes for a second to seek some respite, and it was all gone. I awoke in the dull room back in Bastion and felt my heart sink. 

The Seventh - Damnation

Under the escort of two most trusted professors I entered a pyre, deep in some black cave, and was immediately met with even greater heat. 

Purple flames consuming living bodies torn at the torso. Beast-skinned men carrying out unprintable acts of torture on other victims, alive despite all probability. Even our own bodies were twisted into those of beasts, our heads remaining human. 



An entire city of screams. We did not get to see beyond the walls. 

Our minds closed, unable to process what we saw. Running back into the darkness we were mercifully able to return to Bastion, in the heart of the pyre. Our burns were severe, and the brave Professor Horkum perished, but this will not sway us. 

Beyond

And now a generous benefactor has provided two-hundred men ready for our first full expedition into these lands. We will enter into the Eighth, and intend to see if we can find a connection with the others so that we might map the infinite. 

To Safe Travels,

Miles Worriffer

Friday, 7 August 2015

Jolly Underground Ghost-Cruise with Severin Sistern

Outside the gates Bastion's New Progressive University, a canal-yacht beckons freshly graduated students, with some of their parents' money left to burn. For just 50s you can ride the Free Spirit into the mysterious underground and back. On your way you'll be guided through the subterranean world by Severin Sistern, young heir to the Portwell-Sistern brandy empire.



Severin Sistern - Privileged World Traveller
STR 10, DEX 6, WIL 14, 3hp, Fancy Hide Jacket, Fake Musket (d0), Machete(d6), Fertility Idol.
- Tell you a story, in a patronising manner, about his years of exotic travel.
- Exaggerate his familiarity with the Underground.
- Cower from any real danger, under the guise of "letting you discover the world for yourself."

The Free Spirit - Expensive Canal-Yacht 12hp.
Two Silent Punting-Men, Swivel Gun (d10), Colourful beads and fancy tapestries. 10g, Ivory-Pistol (d8) and a teddy hidden in Severin's locker.

Rules of Passage
1: Everyone must be open to sharing an experience together.
2: Keep your arms inside the boat at all times
3: Stash all weapons in the storage locker.
4: No refunds.

All complaints are directed to Severin's father's guards (5 Corporate Thugs, 6hp, d6 Claw-Hammer, Cauliflower Ears).



The canal takes the following Route, each section lasting around 30 minutes.
1: The Sewer. A stinking stretch of narrow canal with gross weeds hanging down from the roof.
2: The Cavern. A glittering forest of crystals, with neon-paintings on the wall (fake, by Severin) depicting clues to the scripted scares.
3: The Rapids. A winding, white-water decent with bats and bugs. The Yacht takes d6 damage.
4: The Lagoon. A vast underground lake dotted with piles of floating debris.
5: The Drop. A mossy cave riddled with squeaking lizards and bubbling hot water, ending in a 50ft plunge dealing d6 damage to the yacht.
6: The Lift. Abandoned mining tunnels ending a masterpiece of hydro-engineering that raises the yacht back to the surface, but only works 50% of the time. If it's broken there's a rather anticlimactic ladder climb back to street level.

Roll d6 at the start of each section.

1: All quiet now, but roll a Real Horror later.
2-3: Roll a Scripted Scare.
4: All quiet beside bugs and nasty smells.
5-6: Storytime with Severin (Roll a Scripted Scare and have Severin foreshadow it with with much exaggeration)




Scripted Scares
Roll d20

1-4: d6 Inside-Out Men (Severin's Lackeys in Organ-Suits) 4hp.
What are they doing?
1: Performing a highly rehearsed song and dance number Don't Go Into the Underground
2: Caught on a smoking break before performing their song and dance number. 
3: Breaking character and running from a Real Horror that's nearby. 
4: Trying to gross out the passengers by rubbing their organ suits up to them. 

5-8: The Witchety Worm (Lackey dressed as worm-faced hag) 4hp. 
What are they doing?
5: Slowly approaching the boat with a cloth doll before screaming and banging it against the side. 
6: Pointing at one passenger You! You won't make out of here!
7: Calling out for her young to come home for dinner. 
8: Begging Severin to take her back to the surface, which he refuses before shooting her "dead". 

9-12: d6 Man-Cattle (Ordinary Cows with Human Masks) STR 15, DEX 5, WIL 2, 1hp. 

What are they doing?
9: Mooing with disinterest. 
10: Eating grain from a pretend corpse. 
11: Being chased around by a Shell Urchin. 
12: Lying butchered in a pile. 

13-16: d8 Shell-Urchins (Child Lackeys in Lobster-Shell-Suits) 7hp, STR 5. 

What are they doing?
13: Begging for coins and asking if any of the passengers are their mummy. 
14: Clacking at each other with their fake claws. 
15: Calling out to Severin, Father! Take us Home!
16: Sat in a circle chanting Click Clack Nick Nack Down Down into the Black. 

17-18: The Boggoth (An ogre-like puppet operated by three lackeys).

What are they doing?
17: Something's gone wrong with the mechanism and only one limb is swinging menacingly, the rest hanging limp. 
18: Roaring and yelling at the passengers. 

19-20: Mother Underground (Severin pretending to channel her voice)

What are they doing?
19: Severin whispers Why do you come into the darkness? and presses one passenger for answers. 
20: Severin yells NONE WILL COME BACK ALIVE MWAHAHAHAHA with extra ham. 



Real Horrors
Roll d20

1-4: d10 Blood-Men (Scrawny mutants dripping in rat blood) 8hp, d6 Pick-Axe, Droning Pipe. 

What are they doing?
1: Butchering Man-Cattle and rubbing themselves in the blood. 
2: Playing their Droning Pipes and reacting with hostility to any interruption.
3: Carrying around the looted puppetry of the Boggoth with much amusement.
4: Lying in wait to hurl glowing poisonous giant millipedes (STR 3, 1hp, d6 Bite, swolen-bursting-death on Critical Damage) at the passengers. 

5-8: Father Vud Dool (Disfigured Fat Monk) 4hp, d6 Staff, Rotten Old Robes. 

What are they doing?
5: Offering Underground Mead to any passers by. It's gross and causes loss of d6 DEX. 
6: Looking into his Peering Hole, a pool that shows nearby treasures (including any carried by the passengers)
7: Preaching loudly about the Smogfather, who is in the middle of cleansing the surface of Bastion so that those in the underground can inherit the city.
8: Trying to sneak aboard to get passage to the surface. 

9-12: d6 Eye-Toads (Huge misshapen amphibians) 7hp, d8 Gulp, Crystal Eyes that transmit back to a remote viewer. 

What are they doing?
9: Watching silently from the darkness.
10: Barking out loudly as d12 more Eye Toads start to appear.
11: Fleeing from the Mock Kraken, who they are trying to observe from a distance. 
12: Just in the middle of tearing some Man-Cattle to bits and eating the remains. 

13-16: d8 Lizard Girls (Mutated Hopping Urchin Girls) STR 15, 5hp, d6 Slobbering Bite causing spasms and paralysis on Critical Damage. 

What are they doing?
13: Arguing back and forth about which way to the drinking hole. 
14: Bullying a smaller lizard girl by dunking her head under the filthy water.  
15: Selling genuine underground food to passers-by. In reality it's just pots of filth they want to trick you into eating. 
16: Preparing to throw a bomb (d12) at the yacht to raid for supplies. 

17-18: Mock Kraken (Wiry mass of leather arms ending in two-pronged hands) STR 15, 10hp, Armour 1, d8 Grasping Hands. 

What are they doing?
17: Reaching out for companionship, pulling anyone that will welcome his grasps out of the yacht to see his leathery grin and exchange pleasantries. 
18: Eating one of the Lobster-Urchins with tiny nibbles. 

19-20: Mother Underground (Genuinely channeling action through Severin)

What are they doing?
19: Severin suddenly cannot speak before vomiting uncontrollably. The word LIAR can be heard with each retch. 
20: Severin starts to bleed from his nose, then his ear. Then drops dead in a heap. 

Monday, 3 August 2015

Into the Odd with Newbies - Play Report

I finally got a the schedules of myself and four friends to line up, so we sat down to play Into the Odd.

They'd all played CRPGs, Boardgames, and Warhammer Tabletop stuff back in our school days, but players P, C, and M had never touched a Tabletop RPG. Player S had dabbled in a few sessions of Pathfinder, lamenting how it took a whole session to make his character sheet and then none of it mattered.

Some questions they asked as we were having a pre-game lunch were:
"Does one of us have to be a healer?"
"Can our characters die?"
"Are there lots of rules to learn for combat?"
"Are you going to do voices?"
"Should we make our characters in advance so that we can get into character or whatever?"
"Can we go off in different directions?"

(Answers are No, Yes, No, Badly, No, and Yes but you probably shouldn't)

So clearly they had a good sense of what RPGs are and how a Dungeon-Crawl works, but they'd picked up certain ideas that just won't apply to Into the Odd.

Rolling Characters was loads of fun, and they all enjoyed laughing at each other's crappy rolls and sitting on the edge of their seats as they found out their starter packages. It was crazy to them that equipment ranged from an Eagle to a pot of grease, but they said it got them excited about using their characters right away.

Coming up with names was tough for new players, so three out of four of them opted for a d100 roll on the Bastion Cast of Thousands table.

So that took five minutes in total, including a quick explanation of how to roll a save, and how damage works. I explained that if your character dies you'll get a new character and rejoin the game as quickly as possible, but there's a catch that I won't go into yet. Let the game begin!

The explorers had followed a lead to an abandoned lighthouse, which is rumoured to sit on a site filled with riches. Unfortunately as they broke into the old structure they were met with a painted warning "STAY OUT OF THE HELL HOLE" and a boarded up trapdoor.

Of course they dive in, and enter a network of natural caves, bleached white. A couple of quiet tunnels in and they're faced with a 12ft spike with two corpses impaled on it, pointing toward them. They work out that this must have been fired twice, as the second corpse is much fresher, but despite their concern one of the group try to pull a backpack off the impaled corpse.

There's a click. Make a DEX Save.

Of course, this player had the sneakiest character, so he passed the Save and ducked aside as the spike lurched forward.

P: But why would I have been standing in front of the spike when I took the bag?

Me: You just said you were going to pull off the bag, so next time you should say where you're standing. You don't have to tell me every detail of your actions all the time. Like you don't need to be careful around doors or corridors, but when you're dealing with traps it pays to be specific!

P: Got it.


They were in the swing of things now. Playing like pros as they pushed forward and discussed the best way to deal with each obstacle they encountered. 

Finding the corpse of a colossal blue slug thing, and following a whining noise to find a tiny version of the creature cowering under its tongue. 

Player C: It's obviously going to grow into this massive thing and kill us. 
Player S: But what if he's on our side! 

They keep the tiny, hungry slug-thing and stumble onto a shaft to the level below.

Me: Now generally going deeper means there's better stuff, but also worse stuff. 
Players: We go down.

This level was all polished marble and faint humming. They overhear some voices in corridor ahead. They know the characters names, equipment, and are overhearing everything they discuss at the table, even out of character.

Player M peeks around the corner just in time to see one of them disappearing beyond a door. I give him a half-second glance at an image of the creature. 



Player M: Urgh! It was a creepy alien thing with a big head. It looked horrible.

He does a quick sketch of what he remembers, and they decide to head in the opposite direction. Good, they already have the fear inside them. 

The next room has the Overthinking Trap that I stole from James, who I think stole from someone else. 

The trapdoor leading down is underneath a plaque reading "Overthinking Separates Mind from Body". What the players don't know is that the trapdoor is safe unless you search for traps. Anything you search for becomes real.  

 Now I feel like I have some experience dealing with traps, but when James ran this dungeon for me it killed my character dead in one slash. 

Player M: I think about nothing and grab the trapdoor to throw it open. 

Me: Okay... it's fine, you're greeted to a perfectly safe stairway down.

Down they go to Deep 2. Here the air is warm and soothing, a faint chanting replacing the hum.

The first room was more white marble, but the roof was stalactites of crusty honey, dripping down onto the ground. The tiny slug was getting restlessly hungry, so they let it drink some honey. It swells up to the size of a load of bread, and now they don't know whether that's a property of the slug or the honey. 

As they debate this they get their first wandering encounter. A stunted naked man covered in baggy skin waddles down the stairs behind them.

This guy was loosely based on Arnold's Gurgans, but changed around a bit for freshness. 

He tried to engage them in creepy conversation, wanting Player C to lick some of the honey off his long boneless fingers. 

Player C: Not happening. 

Me: He staggers back, looking hurt. "Oh, enemies then? You'll regret that former-friend!"

Player S: Why are you doing a Puumba voice?

I did warn them about my voices. Player C now had hiccups, but didn't know that he had a much deeper curse on him. After some time these hiccups would produce something nasty from his stomach. 

As we'll soon find out, this wouldn't matter anyway. 

The flappy-skin-man was now ignoring them and gorging on the honey, shitting out a disgusting black oil. They agree this guy is gross, but decide against killing him and move onward. 

A bit of corridor later.

Me: Okay... so you open the door to a domed white room, in the centre of which is a huge glass tank filled with water. Floating in its back is a car-sized, white, porcelain baby curled up a fetal position. There are six tiny red versions of this thing flying around its head in circles, occasionally whispering something into its ear before vanishing off into thin air. 

Player S: I don't know how to process this.

Their greed gets the better of them, and they decide these little guys must be working for the mind-reading Listeners they glimpsed on the level above. They decide they have to be malevolent, so Player C throws his potion into the water of the tank. 

The red cherubs turn towards him and a black eye opens on top of each of their skulls. He feels an agonising sensation as if his bones are shrinking. With a blast of noise a Wheel-Angel appears.  

The Angels were also stolen from Arnold, also tweaked here and there. 

Wheel-Angel: SPEAK ONLY TRUTH IN MY PRESENCE

Player C: Erm... okay!

Wheel Angel: WHAT IS YOUR SIN

Player C: ...attempted murder?

Wheel Angel: YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE SIN.

Player C: *looks around the group* Greed. 

The Angel blasts him with some light and announces his greed has been cleansed. 

So my Wheel Angels work differently to Arnold's in that they're only obsessed with truth, not good or evil. But they can twist the Truth in a terrible way to teach a lesson. He didn't know this yet, but I had a treat in store next time he acted on his greed. 

They make a sharp exit, and next find a room with three angelic tombs. Quickly forgetting their lesson in greed, they pry them open, making some exceptional rolls to avoid attention as they do so. Player M now had a gold chain that allowed him to Flame-On, and a huge spear looted from the tomb of an angelic giant. 

But they couldn't avoid attention forever.

WHPAFF WHPAFF WHPAFF

Three Wheel Angels materialise over the tombs. Two block the exits, one hovers over Player C.

Wheel Angel: SPEAK ONLY TRUTH IN MY PRESENCE

Player C: Okay guys, I've got this. 

Wheel Angel: WHY HAVE YOU DISHONOURED OUR FALLEN SAINTS. 

Player C: Erm... I don't have a good answer for this.

Player M: Look, we can't let these wheel things boss us around forever. Let's attack. I fire my rocket. 

They blast the Angel as best they can, but it stays up, giving Player C a blast of its Annihilation Column. In a cloud of doves, he's utterly destroyed.

Me: Okay, you're dead. But we'll get you back into the game once this combat's done, assuming someone survives. 

At this point Player M has made two attacks with the giant angel spear, rolling 1 on both. Talk about karma.

Player M: Is there any other way for me to find out what this spear does?

Me: You sense that you need to use it to kill something. Maybe try rolling higher than 1. 

They manage to blast the angel to the ground on their next turn, and the other two vanish into nothingness. They know they're going to need to get some support for this. 

Going deeper they find a use for the angel spear, getting them access to some angel-only rooms hidden away in the back. Player S gets a telepathic hammer that asks "WHY?" with every swing, striking harder if the blow is just. Player P gets a shield that vanishes into a circle of light on his wrist. Player C comes in with his new character and gets a big glowing cannonball.

Oh right, so Player C is back with a new character, which he drew from 7 cards I'd prepared in advance. These were the B-Team. His guy had a bag of rocks, no tongue, 1hp, and pretty awful scores. He relished the challenge of addressing every problem with a rock from now on.

The second store had some gold! We've got a haul now, time to get back to safety.

They couldn't resist heading down one more staircase, which led them to a river of skeletons. They fearlessly stride in, and are barraged with a thousand voices whispering "Questions? Questions?". 

Player M puts on a visored helm that he found and sees a vision of Player S dying horribly in the river. They take this as a clue to head back. In actuality, the helmet just shows you the worst thing that could possibly happen on the first use per day, and makes up some bullshit on subsequent uses. 

Heading back upstairs they hear the Listeners again.

Player S: Finally! Now that we've got magic hammers and fire-chains we're practically the Avengers. We can take them out. 

The Listener's agony-lash sends Player M to the ground in spasms of pain, so Player S moves in with his hammer.

Me: The hammer whispers to you "WHYYYY?"

Player S: Erm, Self Defense!

Me: It seems satisfied. 

The hammer weakens the Listener, but it's a rock from Player C that shatters its glass dome and splatters its brains. The other two decide to make a run for it, and the group stay around to help Player M instead of chasing. Remember Player M is wearing his fire-chain at this point.

Player P: I mean... if we need to give him mouth-to-mouth and he's on fire is that going to be a problem?

Getting closer to the surface, they have a passing encounter with an Iron Dryad, who lures Player C's character close enough to grab and pull him into a pocket dimension of wires and thorns. I reassure him that he isn't dead, but he can't do anything just yet.

The slug gets fed the Listener corpse, growing to the size of a bean-bag. They like this, and move back to the giant slug corpse and let him feed some more, growing to the size of a rhino and sprouting a long tubular proboscis. 

Player S: Can I ride her now?

Me: Yes!

In the final room before leaving, they catch a glimpse of Player C's character, trapped within the metal of a door. They lure the Dryad into reaching out and grab her, passing their STR Save to hoist her back into reality, dragging her prisoner with her. His hair and beard have grown a lot... how long was he in there for?

The friendly slug-mount sprays her with acid, as everyone else piles on. Again, it's a rock from Player C's bag that finishes her off. I think those rocks killed more than anything else in the game. 

Now they reach the ladder up out of the dungeon. They look at the slug mount, at this point named Patricia, and she looks back with a knowing sadness. She won't fit out of the dungeon.

Player S: Well if I tie her up down here we can come back and find another way out, right?

Me: She trusts you completely and lets you slip the rope around her neck, She watches as you climb up.

Nailing that low-note finish.

But they had fun. They liked how stripped back it was, so the rules didn't get in the way of just exploring the weird places. 

Player P commented that while he had fun he didn't know quite what his goal was. I think "get rich and don't die" can be rather vague, so this is something I'll work on for next time.

Eithe They'll be back for more. 

Friday, 31 July 2015

3hp, Sword (d6)

Following in Arnold's wake (although I totally already wrote about this topic years ago) I wanted to try an experiment in monster differentiation.

The Into the Odd Equivalent of 1HD, Leather, 1d6 Sword is even simpler, as you would expect.

3hp, Sword (d6).

I'm currently giving encounters a set of behaviours that you can bake special abilities into, so that will be our main point of differentiation.

Arnold did 5. So I'm doing 20. Coincidentally the number of Patreon Supporters I owe a reward to (plus two to round out the numbers). Something about being immortalised in a table?



Tuppenstusk - The Top Country

Deep Country has mountains like you wouldn't believe. Get beyond the smog, then past the clouds, and you might reach one of the flats that house tiny villages.




Roll d20

1: d6 Day-Sun Vinesmen - High Altitude Air-Protectors
3hp, Machete (d6)
- Beckon you to do your duty by helping to erect vine-walls to keep the wind out, and air in. 
- Confiscate any source of fire, and look for signs of sickness that would warrant being thrown off a cliff. 
- Drive out any wildlife that might consume extra air.

2: d6 Rustle-Howls - Toothy Red Tiger-Things
3hp, Impractically Long Teeth (d6)
- Hide in shrubbery, cleaning eachother's long teeth.
- Perform complex social rituals that always involve the smallest being eaten. 
- Beg for food like huge terrible kittens.

3: Chosef's Vandals (detachment of hooded grunts)
3hp, Iron Club (d6)
- Look for the most well-built, or tallest structure to smash up.
- If there aren't any structures nearby, smash up some rocks into gravel.
- Gather in a circle for story-time, which always involves stories about smashing things up but also has a romantic subplot, which they swoon over.

4: No-Idea Doyle - Fat Old Man in Eye-Pattern Silk Robes
3hp, Staff (d6)
- Offer guidance, but have no answers at all.
- Make a vague declaration and point into the distance.
- Stop for a nap every hour or so.

5: d6 Rage-Bats - Big Angry Smoking Bats
3hp, Bite (d6)
- Hang near to you and scream deafeningly, following you around and exhaling smoke.
- Do anything it can to provoke to you attack, even when you're already attacking it.  
- If you bring one close to death it will latch onto you (STR Save) and blow up for d10 damage when it dies.

6: Dawn's Voices - Choir of 12 Singers in Frilly Dresses
3hp, Focused-Breath-Punch (d6)
- Sing at the Sun while doing martial arts stances.
- Hunt down terrors of the night (anyone that has slighted them)
- Hit the Sun-Chord in Unison (takes d4 turns to get in-tune) and blast the area for d12 damage. 

7: Banner-man Joe - Small man with a giant red banner, carrying as sentence for petty theft.
3hp, Banner Pole (d6)
- Announce that this is the domain of the Fortress-Lady Karan and you should kneel.
- Head back to the Fortress (a day's march away) to tell a superior if you refuse to kneel.
- Follow you at a distance, hoping you'll keep the way safe for him.

8: d20 Robber-men of Jake Hunks - Theatrical Bandits
3hp, Cutlass (d6), Jake Hunks leads with 6hp.
- Make an elaborate entrance (3-in-6 chance of it going wrong and looking stupid)
- Immediately go at you with their cutlasses and asking if you surrender yet (they won't stop if you do)
- Make an elaborate exit (4-in-6 chance of it going wrong and looking stupid)

9: d8 Pale Bald Oldies - Exiled Old Men
3hp, Pistol (d6)
- Tell you how this bit of land used to be a thriving slave-pit overseen by star-men.
- Point a gun at you if you try to leave in the middle of a story.
- Go off on a tangent.

10: d8 Oric's Newmen - Impeccably Uniformed Soldiers.
3hp, Polished Sword (d6)
- Invite you to hire the greatest mercenary company in Deep Country, claiming there are hundreds of them back at base (there aren't)
- Boast about the deeds of their great leader Oric Killerman (totally fictional)
- Run away from the first sign of a real fight.

11: Gagan - Mountain Ape
3hp, Thump (d6)
- Mimic humanity. 
- Get sad when left alone.
- Fly into a rage if anyone laughs in his presence.

12: d10 Charlivicks - Hunched Men covered in Burnt Hair
3hp, Erroding Touch (d6)
- Beckon you into their tunnel with a dusty voice, for a meal of ashes. 
- Cause you to crumble to dust on Critical Damage.
- Touch the ground to corrode a new tunnel into their mountain network.

13: The Courcey - Masked, Cloaked Avenger of Etiquette
3hp, Rapier (d6)
- Teach the heathens of Deep Country about the Etiquette of Bastion, which he knows nothing about.
- Set up a picnic of disgusting burnt food, ringing a bell to attract those nearby to eat and learn dining etiquette. 
- Challenge a disrespectful brute to an honour duel by stabbing them in the back with his rapier. 

14: d10 Sahlen - Sweaty Women in Meat-Suits
3hp, Double-headed Axes (d6)
- Try to appear stronger than they are by flexing their meat-suits. 
- Challenge you to contests of strength, involving massively complex rules and restrictions.
- Perform a burning ritual of their old meat-suits, carving up cattle to make new ones.

15: d10 Krapilskoleg Seers - Silver-Clothed Stargazing Women
3hp, Spiral-Daggers (d6)
- Enlighten you on their texts that prove the existence of shape-shifting yetis, and the lack of any other astral beings. 
- Attack anyone that tries to disengage from the debate.
- Set up their complex array of telescopes for an evening's viewing. 

16: d6 Deremi Junkmen - Rag-Covered Petty Thieves
3hp, Metal Hook (d6)
- Try to sell you useless crap they've stolen. 
- Hook a trivial piece of equipment away from you (STR Save) and run at the first chance. 
- Pile their junk into a shrine to their monkey-god of petty theft. 

17: d8 Naythun Riders - Bearded Men riding Naked Men Twisted into Emu-Shape
3hp, Riding Crop (d6) OR Naythun Kick (d6)
- Offer you a chance to feed or pet their steed. 
- Muzzle their Naythun if it tries to scream out in repressed sapience.
- Defend their steeds to the death and nuzzle it uncomfortably. 

18: d4 Faceless Patrons - Hooded Wanderers
3hp, Hidden Dagger (d6)
- Offer you a gold coin to carry out a highly specific task. 
- Gang up on you and stab you if you don't carry out the task to the letter. 
- Stab any Faceless Patron that has their face revealed. 

19: Roll twice, they're arguing.

20: Roll twice, they've somehow joined together for a mutual benefit. 

Disclaimer: There's legitimately no subtext here. I put names into a list, swapped some letters around, and created an encounter from that concept. Enjoy!

Monday, 27 July 2015

The Bureaucro-Labyrinth

Everything is complicated in Bastion.


And nobody knows who's in charge. 

                           

So, if you need something official written on a piece of paper, you're in for a bumpy ride.

You can choose to just ignore the official process, but there's no shortage of busybodies that would use such an act against you. Some have official authority, others have unofficial authority, the smartest realise that there isn't any difference.


When you start the Bureaucratic Process, roll d20.

On future Bureaucratic Rolls, you add your Progress to the result. When you get what you want, or give up, you lose all Progress.

If you can find a way to grease the wheels somehow, you might find other ways to gain Progress.


  1. The person you need is on sick leave. Roll d6 each day you check in. On a 6 they're back, Gain 1 Progress and Roll again. On any other result Lose 1 WIL and check back tomorrow.
  2. You have to explain your whole problem to some new agent. Gain 1 Progress, Lose d4 WIL and Roll again.
  3. You need a signature from some high flying official, who is only ever seen at fancy social events. If you can get into such an event and find him, Gain 1 Progress and Roll again. Otherwise, Lose d6 WIL. 
  4. You need to get to an office on the far side of Bastion. If you make it there before sundown, Gain 1 Progress and Roll again, otherwise Lose d6 WIL. 
  5. There's a fee for processing the next bit. Pay d20s, Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
  6. You need a copy of an old document you no longer keep handy. Wait a week for it to show up, then Gain 1 Progress and Roll again.
  7. As part of the process you're audited on your earnings since birth. Roll d6 and subtract d8. If the result is negative you owe that many Gold to the tax office. If it's positive, they will refund you that much gold in d20 weeks. Gain 1 Progress and Roll again.
  8. Your case is being subject to a random spot check and may take longer to process than normal. Roll d6 to see the delay (1: A year, 2: 6 months, 3: 1 Month, 4: 2 Weeks, 5: 1 Week, 6: 1 day.) After the delay, Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
  9. Your case is assigned a new agent who lost some paperwork. Lose 1 Progress, 1 WIL and Roll again.
  10. Your case is assigned a no-nonsense agent who's going to get this sorted or ruin the whole case. Double your next roll on this table (after modifiers), but lose all Progress afterwards. 
  11. The department handling your case has passed it on elsewhere. Get to the other side of Bastion to move things forward. Once you get there there's a 50% chance that the case has been passed back to the old department. When this is resolved Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
  12. You get a very long form that takes an hour to fill out. Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
  13. Actually you've been led down the wrong process entirely. Lose d6 WIL, all Progress, and start again.
  14. You need to get a routine medical inspection. Pay 20s for the privilege, but get a good check up. Lose 1 WIL, Gain 1 Progress, and start again.
  15. You can see the person you need to pass the paperwork on to, but they're heading home in a carriage. Catch them to gain d6 Progress, or else lose 1d6 WIL. Roll again. 
  16. Actually you're not eligible for the paperwork, for some trivial reason. If you can find someone to pay 1g to act as your guarantor then Roll Again, otherwise lose all Progress, d6 WIL, and start again. 
  17. You're assigned a personal agent for this case. They're super eager, but super lonely. If you lead them on with friendship you can gain d4 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again. If you show the merest hint of distates towards them they'll halt your case and halve your Progress before passing you on, Roll Again. 
  18. A mountain of paperwork taking d6 hours to complete. Gain d4 Progress, Lose d4 WIL and Roll again. 
  19. You get to the right place but you have to queue. At the end of each hour you wait Lose 1 WIL and roll a d6. On a 6 you get what you need, gain d6 Progress, and Roll again. On any other roll you keep on waiting. 
  20. You got it done! You got the paperwork processed, signed, stamped, and a copy sent off to the appropriate Archive. After 3 days roll a d4. On a 1 the paperwork has been misfiled and you must restart the process from the beginning, losing d6 WIL and all Progress.  

Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Characters in Auldskunterroy

Bringing Bastiard Characters to Auldskunterroy

It's easier to get horribly injured here. Use the Injuries and Worse rules.

Guns work here, but nobody has access to what you need to keep guns working. As soon as they get wet, run out of ammo, or break, you won't get them fixed until you get back to proper civilisation.

The bang of a gun is sure to attract attention, but the locals won't worship you as a god or anything. They'll just see you as a massive threat that needs dealing with.



Rolling an Auldskunterroyan

Roll an Into the Odd character as normal but do not take a starter package.

Choose whether you're a Warrior or Monk and consult the section on that class to see what you get. Make your choice before looking at the starter package you'll receive, you dirty cheat.

Auldskunterroyan Warrior
- You bow to a Liege (50% chance they're dead, but you serve them regardless) in their castle and serve them by fighting.



- Your WIL Score Score gives you a Bloodline, it's crest, trait, and philosophy, and a piece of equipment. Unless noted, Armour Score is 1, and requires a shield and helm to be effective. d6 weapons are one-handed, and d8 weapons two-handed. Mounts must be given a name.
3: Megalodon (Black Shark. Pointed Teeth. Strength Through Cruelty). Rex-Thuzzard Mount (STR 18, DEX 10, WIL 3, 12hp, Armour 2, d10 Bite)
4: Spiner (Green Porcupine, Obesity, Defend the Weak). Spine Javelins (d6)
5: Predatorix (Red Tiger. Red Skin. Kill Anyone  that Offends You).Bright Red Chain & Shield.
6: Gekro (Orange/Blue Fighting Lizards. Terrible Odour. Uncover All Falsehood). Horn-Thuzzard Mount (STR 18, DEX 5, WIL 3, 4hp, Armour 2, d10 Gore)
7: Doverider (Frog-Riding-Dove, Exposed Bone Spikes, Always Lie).Hidden Dagger (d6)
8: Biter (White Snake, Poisonous Bite for d6 STR Loss on Critical Damage, Destroy Other Bloodlines).Horned Purple Plate & Shield.
9: Twotongue (Rising Sun, Forked Tongue, Explore Horizons).Claw-Thuzzard Mount (STR 14, DEX 16, WIL 4, 7hp, Armour 1, d8 Claw)
10: Muntin (Crowned Mammoth, Towering Stature, The Strong Must Rule).Rock Hammer (d8)
11: Clawpaw (Black Mountain, Talon-Hands, All Animals are Monsters).Shining Blue Scale & Shield
12: Blackblood (Three-Dodos, Black Blood, Get Influence Everywhere).Shell-Thuzzard Mount (STR 15, DEX 5, WIL 3, 5hp, Armour 2, d10 Clubtail)
13: Splitten (Two-Headed Arrow, Far-Sight, Keep the Bloodlines Balanced).Hunting Bow (d6)
14: Brassheart (Gold-Ring, Cold-Blooded, Wealth Rules Might).Noble Chestpiece, Fish-Helm, & Shield.
15: Shamer (Rock-Headed Man, Talk to Beasts, Pride Must be Broken).Pig-Thuzzard Mount (STR 12, DEX 7, WIL 6, 8hp, d6 Bite, Loyal and Smart)
16: Vorden (Broken Shield, Yellow Eyes, Bring Order to the Primeval).Denial Rod (wield alongside another weapon for d8 damage attack).
17: Terribux (Green Eye, Blue Skin, Be the Monster).White Furry Beast-Face Armour & Shield.
18: Zeeleo (Black Hammer, Lion-like Mane, Blessed is the Slavemaster).Psychically Bound Cavewitch Slave (STR 15, DEX 10, WIL 18, 3hp, d8 Bite. Huge, Brainlike Head, Telepathy and Psychic Lash (1d6 WIL Loss to target)).



- Your STR Score gives you a hand weapon.
3: Whip-Sword (d6)
4: Pole-Spike (d6)
5: Claw Sword (d6)
6: Skullhammer (d6)
7: Stone Fist (d6)
8: Fish Axe (d6)
9: Knight's Pick (d6)
10: Club Sword (d6)
11: Toothed Sword (d6)
12: Bell-Cudgel (d6)
13: Volcanic Shard (d6)
14: Longmace (d6)
15: Whip-Hammer (d6)
16: Murderfork (d6)
17: Rod Spike (d6)
18: Bastard Flail (d6)

Your DEX Score gives you your starting rank, which comes with an implied responsibility to your liege. Higher WIL scores are higher ranks. There's a 50% chance you're Knighted, which means other Knights don't automatically think you're a total pencil-pusher.
3: Roughtennant (Carry out petty work for any knights in the dominion)
4: Baton-Sheath (Wave a flag whenever the Castle Lord arrives or leaves)
5: Par-Medden (Take messages between the castle and the nearest Monastery)
6: Bushtennant (Keep beasts away from protected domains)
7: Hard-Soverman (Make sure farmers are working to their full capability)
8: Under-Marshall (Keep an eye on anyone trying to climb up to this rank and knock them back down)
9: Houser-Chief (Perform shock-checks of any living quarters in the dominion)
10: Bow'd Marshall (Ensure proper bowing procedure is carried out across the dominion)
11: Pole-Miner (Visit other castles and maintain good relations while stirring up trouble)
12: Lesser-Fulhelm (Kill any troublemakers)
13: Pole-Riser (Openly cause trouble in other dominions)
14: Left-Ruddock (Bring the best arms into the castle)
15: Over-Ruddock (Maintain mercenary relations in case of a war)
16: Rear-Eye (Monitor goods entering and leaving the castle)
17: Arch-Bagger (Monitor coins entering and leaving the castle)
18: Grand Tash (Tend to a Tower of the Castle)



Monk
- You get robes and a staff (d6). You can wear armour and use any weapons, but must return to your robes and staff when you want to perform a ritual.
- You're considered holy, so you get a certain level of respect from all other Auldskunterroyans.
- If you have one or more human corpses to witness things, you can perform other rituals listed below, each of which lasts a number of hours equal to the corpses required.

1: Funeral - One of many dozen types of funeral service that ensure the dead are honoured. Every member of the deceased bloodline that attends the ritual gets a short vision from the dead that may be useful.
2: Union - A ritual between two lovers, or a liege and a vassal, that converts one over to the bloodline of the other, immediately starting to show the new blood traits in place of their own.
3: Guidance - The combined consciousnesses of the corpses give you a cryptic message that may be useful.
4: Exorcism - A monster that the monk has beaten into submission is utterly destroyed and cannot return to haunt the world.
5: Binding - A single ancestor is temporarily bound to watch over one of their bloodline. They yell advice and lecture them as a voice in their head. As soon as the descendant ignores the advice or gives them any attitude, they scald them for d6 WIL loss and return to the land of the dead.
6: Purification - A structure or clearing is cleansed of the ill intent of the forgotten dead. Monsters cannot enter it while the monks remain here.
7: (Unholy Number, corpses must not be gathered in this number)
8: Mummification - A person on the verge of death can be preserved in a way that they will never decay, and never truly die. They live on forever in an immobile state but can only utter one word a day.
9: Rebirth - A recently dead corpse explodes into a bloody manifestation of the forgotten dead, which rampages for d20 minutes before collapsing.
10: Communion - The monk utters ten words that must form a legitimate question to ask the dead. Ten words make up the answer, but not in the correct order.
11: (Unholy Number, Monks never convene in this number)
12: Feast- Gather 12 corpses and arrange them around a hot feast, in appropriate dress. Hide behind one and you can hear their side of the conversation as if they were alive. The monk can only hear one corpse's contribution to the conversation. When the food is cold, the conversation ends.
13: Curse - Make a horrible proclamation against someone that the thirteen corpses surround. It immediately becomes sealed in fate, but also affects all of the Monk too.



Your Highest Score gives you a Gift from the Dead.
3: You have a permanent ancestral ghost guide that only you can see. They're pretty helpful but can't directly influence the world.
4: Monstrous Manifestations of the Forgotten Dead cannot attack you directly.
5: You are immune to poison and disease.
6: You do not bleed and can reattach limbs in an instant.
7: You do not need to eat or drink.
8: You do not need to breathe.
9: When you touch a person as they die you gain the benefits of a Full Rest.
10: You can see death like a shroud over those about to die.
11: You can prevent death indefinitely as long as you're touching the person.
12: You are naturally pale, bald, and gaunt, so other monks see you as extra holy.
13: You have died and come back, so the dead see you as one of their own.
14: You can sense the bloodline of a corpse, no matter how hold.
15: Your eyelids have decayed so you no longer blink and sleep with your eyes open
16: Your bones are black and show through your skin.
17: You have removed your heart, and wear it as a shriveled husk around your neck.
18: Anyone dying in your presence gets a tasteful column of light to shine on them for a moment as they pass.



Your Lowest Score gives you a Burden from the Dead. If you do not carry this burden properly you'll anger the dead and a monster will manifest to haunt you.
3: Carry a sack of ancestor organs with you at all times.
4: Tiny conjoined twin that you have to feed and look after. Holds a dead spirit and may offer cryptic guidance.
5: You cannot eat or drink under any circumstances, but cling onto life all the same.
6: You must not abide darkness, and light candles wherever you go.
7: Any corpse you see must be given a proper funeral within the week.
8: Anyone you see not honouring the dead must be struck with your staff.
9: Carry the last breath of an ancestor in a jar.
10: Carry around the bones of an ancestor at all times.
11: You have a dead leg and must walk with your staff at all times.
12: You have a dead arm that's no use for anything.
13: The voices of the forgotten dead taunt and haunt your mind, but you must honour them all the same.
14: Your body houses a colony of maggots that you must look after properly.
15: You must not kill.
16: Your face has decayed away to leave a horrifying skull. People think that's a step too far.
17: Your tongue and jaw have perished, so you can't talk.
18: Your eyes have decayed, so you're blind.

Monday, 20 July 2015

Auldskunterroy - The Old Country

Go far out into Deep Country and you might encounter the gnarled old giants of Massiff Country.

Beyond even that, or maybe in a different direction (the maps are inconsistent), lies Auldskunterroy, or The Old Country.



Where Massiff Country is old like a mountain, Auldskunterroyis the long shadow of our distant past, carrying on as if nothing has changed for millenia.

Auldskunterroyans have no idea Bastion exists.
Bationites know it's out there, but it's Deep Country so who cares? Some citizens claim to have Auldskunterroyan Heritage to explain why they act like such uncivilised idiots.

Auldcoin is no good in Bastion, and Bastion Coins are no good here unless they're re-minted with the appropriate markings.



Key Principles of Auldskunterroy

  1. Everybody bows to someone else. 
  2. Civilisation breaks down at the first opportunity. 
  3. There is power the Dead, and those who share their Blood.
Key Locations
  1. Dinosaur filled death-jungles.
  2. Towers and castles overflowing with ritual debauchery.
  3. Volcanos riddled with cavewitch colonies. 

Roll 1d20 to see who you encounter. Use the same result to see what they're doing. 

1-3: d8 Knights of the Blood of Bokburd  (STR 13, 8hp, Bright Orange Plate and Shield (1), Flails (d6), Charred-Eagle-Crest, Feathery Beards and prone to shrieking outbursts if offended) riding Horn-Thuzzards (STR 15, DEX 5, WIL 5, Armour 2, d10 Gore, coat with Charred-Eagle-Crest)


What are they Doing?
1: On a quest to slay Old-Man-Marshy, a colossal intelligent crustacean hiding in the swamp. This monster is a manifestation of the forgotten dead.  
2: On a quest to escort a promised bride from the Melted Tower to their liege, Arch-Murderlord Bokburd. 
3: Burning a pyre of dead birds to honour their dead. 

4-6: Taxwickle (Owek Snarl, 8hp, d6 stabbing sword, 20s in Auldcoin, Rainbow-Fish Crest of the Blood of Tong, Piglike face and gluttonous appetite) and 12 Traitors-at-Arms (5hp, ugly daggers (d6), Heavymail and Shield (1) marked with T for Traitor, chained together and scarred from torture)


What are they Doing?
4: Beating down a family of farmers, pointing out that as they can see the tower of Castle Tong, they owe taxes to their Liege. 
5: Ritually torturing half of the Trators-at-Arms as a means of honouring their murdered victims and ensuring their future allegience. After a while they swap and the tortured torture the torturers for a while. Owek is getting drunk on Mudwine.  
6: Reading out the Statement of Domination to a herd of Blubber-Thuzzards that are gorging on waxy fungus.  

7-9: Uncastled Noble Warrior (Uya Rossrod, STR 17, DEX 12, WIL 12, 12hp, d8 Hacking Sword, Horrible Scratchy Voice, Red Twenty-Pointed-Star Crest of the Blood of Rossrod) and her Domainless Mercenary Army (d6-3 Detachments each of Claw-Thuzzard Riders (7hp, d10 Claws, armour 1), Armoured Long-axe-men, (5hp, d8 Axes), Spear Throwers (5hp, d6 Spears), Sling Boys (2hp, d6 Slings), and Cavewitch Slaves (6hp, d8 Rock-Axes)


What are they Doing?
7: Riding to Castle Tong to reclaim it in her name. 
8: Preparing an attack on a Cavewitch Colony, with help of a Cavewitch traitor. . 
9: Cutting meat from  Behemoth-Thuzzard in preparation for a feast-and-vomit ritual to honour the dead

10-12: d6 Hellgullet-Thuzzards (STR 17, DEX 15, WIL 3, 15hp, Armour 1, d10 Beak, Swallow Whole on Critical Damage to be kept alive in stomach for later feeding to young. Stomach has d4-1 live people inside already).


What are they Doing?
10: Sleeping peacefully. 
11: Regurgitating live victims for 12 young in their nest-pit. 
12: Chasing a Wise-Woman who thinks she can curse them, but the dead aren't listening

13-15: 2d6 Pilgrim Librarians (WIL 14, 3hp, Pile of Scrolls and Relics relating to bloodlines. Gaunt, Naked, Top of Skull Exposed.)


What are they Doing?
13: Coating a hunk of wood (the post an ancestor was tied to and beaten to death, now a relic) in fresh blood-wax solution to preserve it. 
14: Sat in a circle debating the interpretation of a faded family tree. 
15: Heading towards the mythical land of Bastion, to seek further information for their records. 

16-17: 2d20 Cavewitches (STR 15, DEX 10, WIL 5, 7hp, d8 Javelins or Bites, Slate-Armour and Shields (1, very heavy), Huge, Brainlike-Heads, Hive Mind, telepathic communication and psychic scream).


What are they Doing?
16: Tracking the Hellgullet-Thuzzards and trying to drive them towards Castle Tong to torment its residents.
17: Surrounding a fat old Cavewitch and psychically torturing him as a punishment for not contributing to the society. 

18-19: Skeletal Monk (STR 3, DEX 3, WIL 18, surrounded by ghostly smoke that corrodes any threats for d10 damage each turn)


What are they Doing?
18: Meditating and allowing the guardian smoke to corrode his skin, as a means of becoming closer to the dead
19: Very slowly laying pebbles out in a pattern as means of honouring the dead. 

20: Matchstick Spirits (Immaterial) The ghosts of those the group have killed, or loved ones that have died and not been honoured properly. They will give clues to their nature but generally just seem angry and in pain. If treated with respect they will slowly fade. If angered they will merge to form a black Dragon-like monster (STR 17, DEX 10, WIL 12, 20hp, Armour 2, d10 Darkness-Breath) and attack immediately, while taunting the group in the voices of the dead.  


To Follow: Rolling up an Auldskunterroyan Character