And nobody knows who's in charge.
So, if you need something official written on a piece of paper, you're in for a bumpy ride.
You can choose to just ignore the official process, but there's no shortage of busybodies that would use such an act against you. Some have official authority, others have unofficial authority, the smartest realise that there isn't any difference.
When you start the Bureaucratic Process, roll d20.
On future Bureaucratic Rolls, you add your Progress to the result. When you get what you want, or give up, you lose all Progress.
If you can find a way to grease the wheels somehow, you might find other ways to gain Progress.
- The person you need is on sick leave. Roll d6 each day you check in. On a 6 they're back, Gain 1 Progress and Roll again. On any other result Lose 1 WIL and check back tomorrow.
- You have to explain your whole problem to some new agent. Gain 1 Progress, Lose d4 WIL and Roll again.
- You need a signature from some high flying official, who is only ever seen at fancy social events. If you can get into such an event and find him, Gain 1 Progress and Roll again. Otherwise, Lose d6 WIL.
- You need to get to an office on the far side of Bastion. If you make it there before sundown, Gain 1 Progress and Roll again, otherwise Lose d6 WIL.
- There's a fee for processing the next bit. Pay d20s, Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
- You need a copy of an old document you no longer keep handy. Wait a week for it to show up, then Gain 1 Progress and Roll again.
- As part of the process you're audited on your earnings since birth. Roll d6 and subtract d8. If the result is negative you owe that many Gold to the tax office. If it's positive, they will refund you that much gold in d20 weeks. Gain 1 Progress and Roll again.
- Your case is being subject to a random spot check and may take longer to process than normal. Roll d6 to see the delay (1: A year, 2: 6 months, 3: 1 Month, 4: 2 Weeks, 5: 1 Week, 6: 1 day.) After the delay, Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
- Your case is assigned a new agent who lost some paperwork. Lose 1 Progress, 1 WIL and Roll again.
- Your case is assigned a no-nonsense agent who's going to get this sorted or ruin the whole case. Double your next roll on this table (after modifiers), but lose all Progress afterwards.
- The department handling your case has passed it on elsewhere. Get to the other side of Bastion to move things forward. Once you get there there's a 50% chance that the case has been passed back to the old department. When this is resolved Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
- You get a very long form that takes an hour to fill out. Gain 1 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again.
- Actually you've been led down the wrong process entirely. Lose d6 WIL, all Progress, and start again.
- You need to get a routine medical inspection. Pay 20s for the privilege, but get a good check up. Lose 1 WIL, Gain 1 Progress, and start again.
- You can see the person you need to pass the paperwork on to, but they're heading home in a carriage. Catch them to gain d6 Progress, or else lose 1d6 WIL. Roll again.
- Actually you're not eligible for the paperwork, for some trivial reason. If you can find someone to pay 1g to act as your guarantor then Roll Again, otherwise lose all Progress, d6 WIL, and start again.
- You're assigned a personal agent for this case. They're super eager, but super lonely. If you lead them on with friendship you can gain d4 Progress, Lose 1 WIL and Roll again. If you show the merest hint of distates towards them they'll halt your case and halve your Progress before passing you on, Roll Again.
- A mountain of paperwork taking d6 hours to complete. Gain d4 Progress, Lose d4 WIL and Roll again.
- You get to the right place but you have to queue. At the end of each hour you wait Lose 1 WIL and roll a d6. On a 6 you get what you need, gain d6 Progress, and Roll again. On any other roll you keep on waiting.
- You got it done! You got the paperwork processed, signed, stamped, and a copy sent off to the appropriate Archive. After 3 days roll a d4. On a 1 the paperwork has been misfiled and you must restart the process from the beginning, losing d6 WIL and all Progress.
Love this!
ReplyDeletewell done
I need to play in Bastion!
ReplyDeleteThis would fit so well in Paranoia.
ReplyDelete