Lessons Learned from Paranoia

I recently ran Paranoia, my third time through a very loose scenario that I’d prepared, using my hacked version of the current edition. 

All three sessions went well, and I think the most recent attempt was the most successful. I thought it might be worth picking out a few lessons I should take from that.

Amnesia is Great

Yeah it can feel cliched to have the characters wake up in a room with no memory of how they got there, or even the world that they inhabit. Paranoia has the benefit of a setting where that sort of introduction is entirely fitting for a world full of cloning, mind control, and mandatory prescriptions.

A player realising two hours into the game “wait, the R in my name is for Red clearance!” is a much more effective way at delivering setting info than dumping it on them at the start of the session.

Of course there’s a bit of information dumping required, so I do it like this:

1. Wake up in Troubleshooter Holding Barracks. Voice on tannoy explains memory curation and congratulates you on being volunteered for Troubleshooting.

2. ID explains:

1. Name, hint at job, skills

2. Give char sheet, front side only

3. Pamphlet dispensed, explaining:

1. Computer

2. Service Groups

3. Secret Societies

4. Mutants

4. Go to the briefing room. Take a Mandatory Prescription to aid in memory recall. Make it dangerous so somebody might die, letting you explain how Clones and Wounds work. 

5. Briefing explains:

1. You can message the Computer secretly through your PocketBot

2. Test out Treason Flags (punish a volunteer)

3. Memory starts to fade back. Now peek at secret side of character sheet

4. Gear and R&D Prototype

5. Troubleshooter Task

6. MBDs 

7. Explain YOU CAN WIN THE GAME. Assessment will be based on TMSRR (TT,MBD,SM,RD,Redacted)

That looks like a lot of information, but it’s drip fed to the players as they are exploring their surroundings and interacting with NPCs and each other. 

Oh, and the pamphlet is a physical thing that the players can keep in front of them. 

Sometimes Too Much is Too Much

Paranoia is built on an iceberg of secrecy, a heap of things the player needs to keep in mind when trying to succeed, some more secret than others. 

Mutant Power sits at the bottom of this iceberg and I’ve noticed it’s generally the least utilised part of the character sheets. I think the Service Groups and Secret Societies are such evocative hooks that you almost don’t need the mutant element at all! Strange to say, because it feels like such a core part of the Paranoia concept, but maybe in future sessions I’ll rethink how they work, perhaps having them intrude on play even if the players aren’t actively using their power. 

Pregens Make it Work

I don’t think I’d ever play this game with randomly generated characters. The whole game just relies so heavily on that inter-player conflict, so it’s a lot more effective when you can fine-tune those tangled interests for maximum juice.

I keep the physical description down to a small hook. One character is “jacked with tiny delicate glasses”, another notes “sickly complexion, always  chewing gum” and I give them a gender neutral name. 

Failing... Forward?

Right, I get this is basic advice at this point, but Paranoia is a great game to play if you really want to hammer this point home. For those living under a rock, this is the idea that when the players fail at a task you should apply the impact of that failure in a way that keeps the gaming moving forward. Not pulling punches is especially important here. If it’s a deadly threat then apply deadly consequences and move on. 

The characters will face an unfair world full of challenges beyond their capabilities. Clever play can overcome them, but remember that you’ve also got other players working against you. Quite frankly, it’s impossible for the whole group to succeed. 

Of course, Paranoia’s famous clones soften the impact of character deaths (though I start my characters a few clones into their bank of 6), but also it’s just a fun world to fail in, and things like treason flags and XP gives a few more straightforward ways to apply failure beyond just damage. 

Tone is Everything

Yeah, this whole game is about tone. I prefer the cold, dark dystopia of “straight style” play, where the comedy comes through absurdity and satire rather than puns and slapstick. There were still some silly characters, of course, but then people are often kinda silly. 

I tweaked some of the starting skills to reflect this. Skill groups were given names like Management and Drills, with specific skills for Infrastructure, Flattery, Chores, and Wellness. This all helped with the oppressive feel of the world, and hinted at what’s expected of citizens in Alpha Complex. 

In my last game we probably used Chores and Wellness more than any other skills, with an especially funny sequence of failures related to trying to clean a corridor. Not many games where mops and bleach can lead to such a memorable encounter.

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Non-empty Rooms

As so many have said before, an “empty room” doesn’t need to be a literal empty room. Instead, it’s just a room that doesn’t (currently) contain a monster, treasure, or trap. 

When you need an empty room, roll d6 instead.

1: Safe Room

Somewhere typically safe to stop for a rest. Perhaps it can be made safe with a little work, or something in here keeps enemies at bay. 

Examples: empty vault, hidden shrine, watchtower with retractable ladder

2: Danger Room

There’s something dangerous in here, but it’s not a monster or a trap. It’s easy enough to avoid, but the danger is there if combat breaks out or the players want to set a trap. 

Examples: hazardous machinery, walkway over snake pit, geothermal vents

3: Info Room

You can get useful knowledge here, most typically about another element of the dungeon. 

Examples: scrying pool, abandoned diaries, cave paintings

4: Tone Room

This is just here to set the tone of the dungeon, or the specific area this room inhabits. 

Examples: mass grave, baroque chapel, filthy living quarters

5: Nature Room

Nature gets everywhere, and this room is especially overrun with it. Nothing too hazardous, just life getting on with its own business. 

Examples: bird colony, fungal patch, rock pools

6: Supply Room

Nothing useful or valuable enough to be considered treasure, but a room full of stuff, typically mundane things. 

Examples: ramshackle kitchen, spare parts storage, uniform wardrobe

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Five Years of Wargames - Wishlist

Now for the games I'd love to get to the table next.

Lion Rampant

Remember when I said I thought Xenos Rampant would fit better in a different era? This is what I was thinking. 

The units being a bit slow and unreliable fits much more with my vision of medieval warfare than sci-fi. I’ve got enough Vikings to cobble together an army for this, so it’s high on my list to try. 

Five Parsecs from Home

I made all that wooden modular terrain and then never managed to get this campaign started! Perhaps one for the summer. 

Five Men at Kursk/Normandy

I’ve got everything I need to run this in 15mm, but I’ve heard whispers of a new release coming, so perhaps that will give me the kick I need. 

NUTS!

Another WW2 skirmish game but this time with a focus on dynamic turn structure, cascading actions and reactions, cooperative play vs an uncertain number of enemies, and a lot of fascinating narrative stuff but... 

Look, I just don’t get this. I’ve read it, I’ve watched gameplay videos, I’ve read message boards, but I’m just a bit stumped on how this actually works in play. But still... it holds a lot of promise as a potentially interesting game with some unique ideas. 

My dream is that one day I’ll find somebody already experienced in this game to walk me through. 

Chain of Command

Now this is one where I think I’m actually likely to find an expert to run me through a game, as it seems to have a good following. 

What a Cowboy!

A very strange die activation system on top of a surprisingly granular cowboy ruleset. I’m intrigued, though, and I have the minis ready to go. 

Space Crusade

Does this count as a wargame? My partner spotted this in a charity shop and I’m very pleased she called me to ask if I wanted it. Yes. I did.

At the moment I’m paralysed with fear over the idea of painting these miniatures, as they’ve clearly been waiting in their box for a very long time. 

Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader

Yeah, I keep telling myself that this old thing could be fun to run as a GM, taking some of my GW-fan friends back to the source, but there’s also a lot of grit to the system that I’m not sure we’d enjoy. 

Age of Penda /  Arrowstorm

This is a fascinating system from Daniel Mersey, the Rampant guy, and has an almost worker-placement system for assigning orders to your army, and an abstracted grid layout for the battlefield itself. The two flavours are early and late medieval, so perhaps when I’ve got my Vikings painted up I could get a game together. 

Black Ops

This is an unassuming little Osprey blue book, but it has some nice ideas. A cool system for suppression, stealth missions, and overall seems very simple. Perhaps I could spin it over to sci-fi or WW2 to use the miniatures I already have. 

A Billion Suns

Another interesting-but-daunting game. There’s a lot of space fleet action happening at my local club, so perhaps this is something I could lure people into. 

Blood, Bilge, and Iron Balls / Galleys & Galleons

I don’t know what prompted me to buy a handful of Age of Sail ships. Painting them scares me. Fitting little sails and flags to them scares me. Rigging?? Don’t even start.

If I ever actually finish this project then I’ve got two games in mind. BB&IB goes hard on detail, down to individual crew members and cannons, and sort of reads like a Classic Battletech style game, where each ship has a big sheet of info to track. This is certainly appealing when dealing with big old ships, but G&G, based on the Song of Blades & Heroes system, might be a more realistic way in for me.

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Five Years of Wargames - Rundown

It’s been nearly five years since I plunged back into miniature wargames, like so many people did during that first 2020 lockdown. I thought it might be interesting to take stock of the games that I’ve played in that time, not counting my own, and look at the games I’d still like to get to the table.

Battletech / Alpha Strike

You know I love a great value starter set, and the Game of Armoured Combat set is pretty fantastic at providing a generous box of content, meaning you don’t really need to pick up all that much outside of it. Getting this thing on a whim, taking it home and digging into it was a real treat. 

You also know that I went and bought a load of extra stuff and pivoted into their simpler Alpha Strike game on the side. 

There’s a lot that I love about Battletech. Surprisingly, I think I prefer the clunky old classic version, managing heat, precise hit locations, and weighty hex movement. My main complaint has been that games are slooooow, but I’m told that if I play in an era with better weapons then there’s less chipping away at armour and more decisive strikes.

Of course, I’d rather play MAC Attack now. 

Blood Red Skies

That podcast ends up costing me a lot of money. I had no interest in a WW2 fighter combat game before I heard Andy talk about some of the more interesting design decisions, then I knew I had to try it out. It’s a fantastic system, one of the best examples I’ve seen of “easy to learn, hard to master”. So far I’ve humiliated myself in almost every game I’ve played, but I’d love to play some more and finally get good. 

Gaslands

Converting hot wheels and matchbox cars into post apocalyptic death machines is some of the most fun I’ve ever had with miniatures. It got me excited to hit the toy aisle in my local supermarket and find more vehicles, so much cheaper than miniatures!

While I’ve had fun playing the game I always forget that it’s reasonably complex, and in particular I’ve found it difficult to teach to new players. This feels rather at odds with its attention-grabbing premise, so I always tell myself I’d like to toy around with writing up an ultra-streamlined version of the rules for one-shots and new players.

Warhammer 40k 9th and 10th Editions

One of my best friends is a real GW loyalist, so we’ve reached a pretty good compromise where he’ll try out whatever new game I’m excited about and occasionally I’ll play whatever the current edition of 40k is.

It’s not really a fair review, as I feel like I spend the majority of each battle re-learning how things work. The foundations are simple enough. Moving and attacking has never been simpler, but there’s a lot happening on top of that with objectives, command points, stratagems... all stuff that I’m sure becomes second-nature if you play regularly, but for me it feels like I spend as much time digging through the rulebook as I do surveying the battlefield.

Warcry

I thoroughly enjoyed painting up the Blood Harvest starter set. Love the warbands and the terrain. Played it once aaaand... now it’s in the cupboard.

Which is strange, because I enjoyed playing it. The random scenarios are fun and games are quick enough that you can blast through a few of them in one sitting. Using dice as a metacurrency for special powers isn’t really my sort of thing, and here I found it a touch fiddly, but I suspect that would pass with experience. 

So why haven’t I played it again? I suspect it’s in a weird middle ground where my GW friends don’t play it, but neither do the non-GW players at my local club. Maybe I’ve got an unconscious bias against seeking out strangers to play a GW game, something I’ve happily done for other games. Wait... I’m getting a flashback to being 11 years old... I’m at a games workshop game night... playing against some random teenager and... no.... not the hydra sword!

Kill Team

I only played this one, but I quite enjoyed it. I liked the sort of stealth system, I thought the basics of combat worked, and while I was hoping the new edition would be more like sci-fi-warcry, I can see the appeal of the added grit here. Would happily play this if somebody else wants to buy and paint up a starter set. 

Epic 40k Third Edition

One of my holy grail games. After decades of waiting I got an old set, played it out of the box with no house rules, and it was a good time. 

Simultaneously streamlined and... a bit fiddly with  it comes to assigning hits and resolving assaults but I still love that pitch of “this single roll represents an entire 40k battle”.

Something inside me resists Armageddon, I’ve just got a lot of affection for this version of the game. I’d be keen to try out the new GW Epic system, but only if I can bring the Marines and Orks that I’ve already painted. 

Bolt Action

This is still a lot of fun. I love how fast it plays, while still bringing that feel of attritional suppressive fire and unit morale. I’ve made the classic error of only really playing pitched battles, so I’d love to try some more unusual scenarios. 

Five Parsecs from Home: Tactics/Bug Hunt

I’ve only managed one game each, and they’re my sole experiences playing wargames with a GM. If you’ve never tried it, I can’t recommend it enough.

The systems themselves are fast and solid, as you’d expect from Ivan Sorensen. 

Saga

I played this for the first time last week and naturally I’m now neck-deep in Vikings, trying to get my own warband ready for the table.

I thought I’d hate the saga dice system, as I typically avoid extra layers outside of the battlefield, and... look, I’m still undecided, but I definitely don’t hate it. 

The thing I love is how dynamic it all feels. You can activate each unit multiple times giving them these huge sweeping moves, or send them rampaging into the enemy ranks. However, this causes fatigue, which enemies can use against you. It’s a lot of fun and a very different feel to just activating each of your units in turn. 

Looking through the rules now there are lots of little quirks and exceptions to keep track of, but I’m very keen to play it again. 

Xenos Rampant

I’ve only played a handful of this game. It’s a lot of fun building a force using its super modular system but... I’m a little bit underwhelmed by the gameplay itself. Remember how I praised Saga for its fast, dynamic play? I found in Xenos Rampant I’d often have turns where it felt like I achieved very little at all, or just took obvious actions.

Now this could be down to scenario choice, or army design, but I also think this particular ruleset might just be better suited to a different flavour (more on that next week). 

Void Admiral

I’m playing this tonight! So far I’ve only had small introductory battles, but tonight I’m braving a full-sized affair. 

So far I’ve found this ruleset sits in my sweet spot in terms of rules complexity. You’ve got a few quirks and exceptions to the core rules, but they’re mostly consistent. You’ve got Saga/Warcry style powers used by spending metacurrency dice, but they operate in a much less involved way here. I glance over to my ability board now and then but otherwise my eyes are firmly on the ships drifting into battle. Factions have some unique twists but are still based on the same foundations as each other. 

The Renegade Warfleets supplement adds a few more options to customise your ship, so now you can have that surprisingly fast destroyer or a corvette that trades its armoured prow for overpowered lasers. I appreciate this extra room to make ships feel unique. 

Next week I’ll look at the games I want to get to the table this year.

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This post was originally sent as a reward to all Patreon supporters, and is released freely on this site the week after its original publication.

If you want to support my blog, podcasts, and video content then head over to my Patreon.

Journeys through Space

As with the trade system, I think any space travel system prompts the question "okay but why?"

You've got niche stuff like "how many hours does it take to get to the moon of this planet" where 99% of the time I don't care, but if you're racing to catch/escape from somebody then it becomes an important roll.

Then you've got the more important stuff relating to random events, ship types, and what exactly happens when you jump between stars.

As with the other sections, this is all untested, thrown against the wall stuff.

SPACECRAFT
Spacecraft fall into three broad categories.

• Boats can be flown by a single pilot, often with a few support crew. They are built for in-system travel.

• Ships require dozens of crew under a captain. They can use gates to travel to neighbouring systems.

• Arks are rare, colossal craft, requiring hundreds of crew. Their drives can jump to neighbouring systems without need for a gate.

CARGO CAPACITY
Any fixture space not otherwise occupied on a craft is designated as cargo, able to hold one standard container.

As a rough guide, expect the following capacity for each craft type, after allowing for standard fixtures.

Boat: 5 containers
Ship: 20 containers
Arc: 100 containers

POWER
Most ship drives are fuelled by condensed stellar fragments, commonly called frags. Some rely on less orthodox methods such as photonic sails or organic thrusters.

TIME AND FUEL
Orbits and routes are not reliable here in the Living Stars.
Here are the typical frag and time consumption rates for space travel.
Those marked n/a are not possible.

 

PLOTTING A ROUTE
Before launch, roll to calculate the time the journey will take.

A shortcut is always available, which halves the journey time but carries a risk. Use the result of the lowest die rolled for the journey time:

1. Gravity well. All passengers take d12 crush. Roll once only.
2. Underspace rift. Instead of halving the time, reroll using d12 instead of 2d6.
3. Mineral field. Craft takes d8 pierce.
4. Star flare. Craft takes d10 burn.
5. Ripple storm. Craft takes d12 crush.
6. Reality fracture. All passengers take d10 warp. Roll for each passenger.

LAUNCH
The craft consumes all of the frags required for the journey on launch. The destination can be amended to within the same orbit without any further frag cost.

If the launch is dangerous then the pilot must pass a Save or the craft takes d8 damage of an appropriate type. Ships treat any launch within a world’s atmosphere as dangerous. Arks are typically too large to be able to launch from a planet’s gravity, so never go directly to planets.

ENCOUNTERS AND EVENTS
For journeys taking multiple days, roll d20. If this is equal or lower than the journey’s length in days then the craft has an encounter on the way, detailed on the current star’s system page (to be revealed). Repeat this to see if there is a journey event (on-ship drama, table coming later).

JUMPING
Journeys to another star system require jump travel, which has the following special considerations:

• Ships mid-jump are isolated, so communication in or out is impossible.

• For each day travelled a week of time has passed outside of the jump.

• Being in jump can make machines behave strangely, so some choose to power down.

DOCKING AND LANDING
Safely docking in an orbital facility or planetary base is straightforward, following instructions from the dock.

Sometimes a craft will go to ground outside of a specific dock, such as in an uninhabited area.

If the docking or landing is dangerous then the pilot must pass a Save or the craft takes d8 damage of an appropriate type. Ships and Arks treat any landing outside of a dock as dangerous.

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This post was originally sent as a reward to all Patreon supporters, and is released freely on this site the week after its original publication.

If you want to support my blog, podcasts, and video content then head over to my Patreon.

Stars & Worlds

Here's what a star currently looks like in Intergalactic Bastionland.

Remember, this isn't space as we know it, so here the usual black void is replaced with wadable dust and industrial smog, golden highways cleared for smooth travel.

The stars themselves are alive, the clue's in the name really, and they impose their philosophy through boons and banes.

But what's a star without some worlds to visit? This one has twelve, so here's a super early draft of number five.

You've got people, places, and an origins section that acts as a rapid-fire lifepath for new characters. Roll three worlds that make up your life before now, where you were born, made, and broken. These each give you a skill and some other stuff. Yes, watercraft is a very niche skill.

LAPRINS
A sunken maze beneath a frozen crust.

WORLD PROFILE
Class: Ice Giant
Atmos: Pale clouds of ice shards
Pop: Ten-thousands
Surface: Dense crust of blue glass-like ice
Market: Corporate Extractor
Reqs: Vacc suit

PLACES 

1: Lazuli Depot - Low orbit station handling all off-world trade. Corporate brokers from across the system bicker over crystal allocations and trading terms. Also has a nice small coffee shop. Refined crystals (Unstable Mineral, 3F, +1 Sale Value) can be bought here, but supply is starting to dry up until a new vein can be found.

2: The Crystal Mine - Under the maze, pockets of crystals, ripe for refinement. Highly psychotropic in raw form, presenting idealised visions of the future. Miners will sell these on the side (Fragile Ware, 7F, +1 Sale Value). The mine always needs more labour but the work is dangerous, using colossal crustaceans as beasts of burden.

3: The Shark Cage - Heavy bunker, dropped on the crust to monitor the mining operation via a crude mob of hired muscle. Doubles as an extremely feisty bar. Gambling is based around sticking appendages into hyper-cooled liquids (d12 burn per turn).

4: The Maze - A sprawl of trenches deep in the crust-topped ocean, origin unknown. A natural field preserves a dome of air over it. The Maze hates anybody exploring it, sending d6 invisible enforcers (Force 12, 2gd, d8 crush) to repel those who don’t offer proper respect on their visit. Mysterious maze-dwelling people technically own this world.

5: Caleb Tango Memorial Lodge - Dusty old lodge selling gigantic seafood and exploration supplies. Named for the first offworlder to die exploring the Maze. Doesn’t get many visitors. A bored sales attendant amuses themselves by being as unhelpful as possible, knowing they won’t get fired.

6: The Feet of the Elevatrix - An urban sprawl, clinging to the base of the space elevator that connects to Lazuli Depot. Broken miners want out, naive youngsters want in, claiming there’s opportunity to be had when a world hits rock bottom.

PEOPLE

1: Naradutch, Corporate Chronicler 
Observation 12, Climbing 15, Social Cues 2, 3gd, grey chitin, four long spindly legs, cheerful
Concealed pistol (d6 pierce), even more concealed beampistol (d8 burn)
Reports to corporate clients through the wire, selling the latest news and gossip.

2: Riff, Head of the Broken Miners
Machinery 15, Camaraderie 13, Toil 7, 4gd, rocklike but soft physique, weary growl
Mining beam (d10 burn, static), hand pick (d6 pierce), vacc suit
Heads up a group of injured miners striving for better work conditions.

3: Martha Shark, Efficiency Enforcer 
Brutality 16, Economics 10, Fish 8, 3gd, sharklike physique, aggressively self-pitying
Tornado gun (d8 crush, blast), electro hammer (d10 burn, hefty), mech suit (A3)
Knows the mine isn’t operating as well as it should.

4: Arinther, the First Maze Dweller 
Mystique 15, Ruthlessness 10, Flowers 5, 5gd, blue and rubbery, immune to cold, obtuse
Crystalsword (2d6 burn), power suit (A2)
Wants to sell out the mine to a more effective company. Driven by profit.

5: Charto-96, Artifact Hunting Machine
Adventure 15, History 6, Explosives 10, 8gd, clanking body, exposed wires, gruff
Pneumatic fists (d10 crush each), rope launcher, metal body (A2).
Wants to uncover the mysteries of the Maze, and to stop others doing it first.

6: The Master of the Elevatrix 
Genetics 14, Smalltalk 4, Memory 7, 2gd, long limbs and grey fur
Shock stave (d8 burn, long), ceremonial wings (flightless)
Controls transit to and from Lazuli Depot. Driven to protect the Elevatrix as his ancestors did.

ORIGINS 

Born - Born in the maze, you learned to turn its hazards to your own purposes.
Skill: Traps.
You are blue, rubbery and suffer no harm from extreme cold.

Made - You ferried ultra dense crystals through channels cleared in the ice.
Skill: Watercraft.
Sack of ice picks (d8 pierce, hefty), breaker bombs (2d8 crush, blast)

Broken - You were cast into the maze by Martha Shark but found your way out.
Skill: Pathfinding.
Vision pills (super-enhanced vision, lasts 1 hour, mild hallucinations afterwards)

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This post was originally sent as a reward to all Patreon supporters, and is released freely on this site the week after its original publication.

If you want to support my blog, podcasts, and video content then head over to my Patreon.