Monday 24 February 2014

Rumoured Members of Bastion's High Council

Did I ever tell you about the real power behind this great capital of civilization?

The High Council? An old boy's club that lock themselves away, drinking and smoking while we toil in the factories?

Who told you that? It's much weirder than a bunch of toffs! Why do you think you've never seen them?

Would you come down here if you didn't have to?

Look. I even drew pictures.

The Last King


It's true! Remember that last King of Bastion? Well he keeps himself alive using a weird machine, even centuries after he was overthrown!

But I thought the last King of Bastion was that boy we had beheaded?

No! Before that! The last true King of Bastion.

That one with the breastfeeding thing?

It was before all that lot! They were just pretenders. Anyway, he's up there as a skeleton living the high life. He's the reason we can't get any medicine down here!

Doesn't sound like much of a life. Wasn't the last true King of Bastion the one that got eaten by the animals in his own zoo?

Look. He's bad news, okay? But there's still the rest of the council.

The Maiden

She doesn't look all that maidenly. Is that meant to be a person?

She's from the bottom of the Polar Ocean. There's an ancient race of sea-people down there, you know! She has to be kept in a tank of water, but knows all sorts of sea-folk ingenuity.

Like what?

She's the one that taught us to make coal.

I thought we got coal from mines. Why would fish people know about that?

She taught us to make it better than normal coal. For the factories and that. Before that we were all toiling in fields growing spuds.

So I have her to thank for my black lung?

Anyway, I've saved the best for last.

The Brood

Actually, I heard this one too!

Right! Six songs, one voice, faces glow, feathers below.

Is that how it went? I remember it rhyming better. Haven't heard it since I was tiny. Seriously though, you believe that?

Well it sort of makes sense.

Why would a bunch of chicken-women be on the high council?

They're not really chicken women! They're from the stars!

Ah, of course. So what great knowledge did they bring to us?

Nothing, but they can see the future.

Then why do bad things keep happening? They didn't stop that bridge burning down last week.

They work in mysterious ways. Who knows what their cruel agenda could be!?

You know, I think I'd actually prefer that over a bunch of drunken old men. Here's hoping you're right.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha, this is gold. I'll never understand why that lizard alien guy is more famous than you. This is way more fun and interesting and I could never figure out why lizards being in charge would be bad, since alligators are such caring parents.